community...

I think I shared here how my hubby and I became the "leaders" of our church's community group. A community group is what most people refer to as "small group" or "accountability group". If not, well, we joined the group right after we finished a 6-week course that was basically a church-info thing. The church we attend is huge & definitely qualifies as a "mega church" in this area. But it's so radically different from any other traditional church in our area, they used to have this short "class" of sorts to let people understand the what's & why-fore's about the church. However, it was entitled "Next Steps" and some folks thought it was for new Christians. We're hoping they will start it back up all new & improved because it was a big help to us and let us ask questions we had about the doctrine and practices of the church before we joined.

So after the Next Steps group, we joined a group that, at the time, the pastor was a part of. That's before our church expanded to a second campus in the next town and his wife started her internship at the hospital in a town 80 miles away and they began a life of residing in two different places, travelling many miles every week! The group grew so large that it split at one point, then they broke for summer vacation. After that, when it was announced that groups would start meeting again, we and two other couples showed up at the usual room but no leader was to be found. Someone said they were still on vacation. We didn't know for sure, hadn't had any word from them, but we had one new couple there, so we just carried on as usual, discussing the sermon notes. The next week, the same thing happened... the man who had previously led our group wasn't there and a different new couple had come to join us.

After that second week, I emailed the guy who oversaw Community Groups to let him know what we'd been doing, to ask where the leader was & to find out if the group had moved or something. The reply I got was an apology for letting that happen, and a congratulations for "stepping up" and notice that we would now be listed as the group's "leaders".

Egads!! I wasn't expecting that! It made Tommy a bit uneasy because he didn't see himself as any sort of church leader, but after praying about it and talking it over with a couple of his friends, we took it as something the Lord wanted us to do, and plunged ahead.

At that time, the church staff started working on plans to "do" community groups in a more methodical, organized way. And so here we are, almost a year later with Tommy's supervisor at work (& a dear friend now) being appointed the new community groups' coordinator and getting ready for an event called "Group Link" next Sunday evening.

As I understand it, it'll be like a sort of job fair for Community Groups. People will be scattered around the large "foyer" area, representing their group and folks can wander around asking questions and getting info about any particular group they think will fit their schedules and interests.

We've been given a book and a DVD about leading and "running" community groups to be the most efficient and most helpful to folks. Of course, this would have to have happened the same time we started taking a 10-week Christian financial course, too. *sigh*

We have GOT to get busy reading the information. I'm praying it will be helpful. It seems that in the past the biggest problem, or one of the biggest, was having info about the various groups since most meet outside the church and on various days and various times. Hopefully, setting up one person to be in charge of groups info this way will help eliminate that. And they plan to have these Group Link events at least four times per year.

The suggestion is to have around 6-8 people per group, then to close that group. That way you promote community and build trust. And we have found that to be so since our group has been meeting at the church on Sunday evenings, we tend to "catch" people who have been looking for a group or who don't know that our church doesn't have a traditional service on Sunday nights. It's been good to be able to let these people join in, but in about 99% of the cases, our group is not what they want or need. Either the age range is off, the interest or life stage is incompatible or something. And they leave. Of course, with our core group of folks, we're not as forthcoming or spend the time explaining things to the new person and don't get to delve as deeply into things as we normally would.

I'm just praying that, as it looks like we may be losing the two couples who have been the core of our group (due to changing job situations, etc) we may be starting from scratch and that makes me a little uneasy. You don't realize how much you've come to depend on a close relationship with others in your group til you're about to lose them. But I guess God's got something else in store for us and I'm confident that He will place the right people in our group.

The last thing I'll mention is the fear I have, well, more of a concern, but still something I need to overcome, of having people in our group that we have trouble connecting with. Sometimes you get folks that you just can't "click" with and you stay unsure of for one reason or another. Sometimes they seem oblivious to this situation or sometimes they seem to feel the total opposite that you do and want to cling tightly to you... all the while, you're trying your darnedest to meet their needs while still feeling "out of sync" with them.

*sigh* I'm praying God settles this for us too. And I'm sure He will... I just hope it's not by bringing us a whole posse of people we feel non-comfortable with. LOL! Wouldn't that just be the way to teach us, though?

Ha. Thanks for reading... I'll keep you posted on how this goes!

Blessings!

things are lookin' up...

Wow! I was up by noon today! Go me! Seriously, if you have been reading here, or paying attention, you know I've been doing some major sleeping lately. Til way up in the afternoon! So to get out of bed for good by noon is a major step for me! Lord willing, just switching the time I take those blood pressure meds.. oh, and using my C-PAP machine will fix this problem.

I may not have gotten up then except the phone kept ringing. A couple of times it was sales calls, which I hang up on. Then it was Mom, checking on me. Then it was my mother-in-law asking if she and my father-in-law could ride with me to an Agape making party (it's an Emmaus thing ;) and then she told me that the blind couple in our community wanted a ride, too. So, okay, yeah, I can do that. We have room in our super-cab pickup for six, so no problem there.

Then about 1 o'clock I got a call from the blind lady asking if I could run them to town, first Walmart then their bank. Seems they'd gotten into some financial strain & needed to transfer some funds before 5 o'clock.

*sigh* I admit it. At first I felt very put upon. But then I prayed for God to take that away and give me a thankfulness that I am able to help them. So, I told her I had to wait because another lady from our Emmaus community was bringing over some craft supplies for tonight, but after she left, I'd be there. That'd be around 2:30.

So the craft supplies lady is a very friendly, jovial woman and she likes to talk. *heh* I found myself looking at the clock and starting to feel irritated. But then I stopped myself and just chatted back with her. And guess what? She probably wasn't here but about 10 minutes or so. And there I was feeling as if she was putting me behind schedule. Thanks, God. :)

I hurried to get my shoes on & gather up my purse & grocery list. Yep, I needed to go to town anyway, so it wasn't really an imposition for me to take this lady with me. I was a little unsure of how much she might slow me down though, since I'd never been grocery shopping with her before.

I felt so bad for them as her mother-in-law, who lives next door & helps take care of this couple, was telling me about the mess they were trying to straighten out. Something about changing when their insurance payments came out and overdrafts and interest... I just felt so bad for her. I know how it feels when something like that happens & it is NO FUN having to ask someone else for help let alone having to tell them why you need the help. :(

So after I was fairly sure both she and I knew what we were supposed to do, we took off. First we did the shopping. They only had three things on their list, but it wasn't hard having her along as I made stops to pick up what I needed. The most annoying part was how people kept stepping in front of us. She was holding onto the cart handle and I had hold of the side or front of the cart, slowing her down or turning her as necessary. Obviously they didn't realize she was blind, but still it was so frustrating! She made a comment about me being "an old pro at this", so I must have done okay comparatively. LOL!

At the checkout, I just positioned her in front of the keypad and let her take care of withdrawing the extra money. I swear, it took less time to do my shopping with her in tow than it usually does for me by myself. Of course, I would have stopped to look at stuff I didn't need if I'd been alone, so she probably saved us a few bucks! LOL! I told her as much, too.

We joked about how she was going to have to find where I'd parked because I'd forgotten. I then took her to their bank, walked her in and let her take care of the deposit there. Then we headed back to her house. I helped carry in the groceries and the little mother-in-law, who is in a wheelchair, just thanked me over & over. I told her it wasn't a problem since I had to go anyway. That seemed to ease her mind a lot.

And now I'm at home, where I discovered that my sugar had gotten a little low, 57... sheesh! And I got all my groceries put away, my low blood sugar treated & sitting here writing this post while I wait for my in-laws to come over so we can ride to pick up the blind couple to go to an Agape making party.

Wow... what a wild & crazy life I lead. And I'm so thankful for it. And SOOOO thankful to be feeling better. God is just good like that.

Blessings~

depression...

I suffer from depression. That's kind of a lame statement to my way of thinking. Doesn't EVERYONE have moments in their lives when they feel depressed about something? Especially if you have survived the teenage years!

And I know there are different levels of depression; clinical, major, et cetera. I also have diabetes. Type I, not Type II, which are two totally different diseases, by the way. I've had it for almost 40 years. It sucks. But there it is, and I do the best I can to live, day after day, minute by minute, with this disease that has no remission.

I know people who have had transplants and now are no longer classified as diabetic, but the disease has left its mark on their bodies, not to mention they now must take anti-rejection drugs, so I'm not sure I'd be jumping up & down wanting a transplant. And of course, that leaves out the fact that MOST of the time, you are not "eligible" for a pancreas transplant unless your kidneys have failed & you need one of those too, so you see, transplantation is not the "cure" it would seem to be.

It is proven that diabetics almost across the board, suffer with major depression. Not just diabetics, but anyone with a chronic disease. And why not? Dealing with an ongoing disease, for which there is no cure and no easy treatment ought to depress anybody, right?

Even someone who is naturally upbeat and positive will succumb to depression to some degree at some point in their lives. It's just the nature of the beast.

Your body doesn't work correctly when you have diabetes. In Type II, it's "usually" because you have been overweight OR you have simply not been good to your body, feeding it a consistently unhealthy diet, and the pancreas just reaches a point where it can't go on your body no longer reacts to insulin as it should. Again, that's "usually". Sometimes people get mad when you infer that their Type II diabetes is kinda sorta their own fault and they could have avoided it had they just watched their diet and maintained a healthy weight.

And just to be perfectly honest, I get a little offended when people try to place Type II on the same playing field with Type I. For those of us with Type I, there was nothing, not one. single. thing. we could have done differently to avoid having this disease. NOTHING. Our pancreases are faulty, we don't produce any insulin in most cases, so there's no chance for us to change our lifestyle and get back to a non-diabetic state.

Type I isn't reversible, no matter what book titles you've seen in Barnes & Noble, okay? That's what happens when you confuse Type I with Type II... you get idiotic books that tell you if you'll just eat raw whole foods, you can become un-diabetic.

Whatever. It ain't gonna happen. There's not one single case.

Okay, so now that we're clear on the main difference between the two so-called "types" of diabetes, let's move on to the depression that inevitably comes along with it.

Do you realize that for a diabetic, there is not a single moment when this disease is not affecting our bodies in some way? Every morsel we put in our mouths, every half-hour we delay eating or the times we forget to eat altogether, the times we are more active than usual...or less active, the fifteen minutes we sleep in and delay that first finger prick to see how much insulin we should take, or the times we forget to take it... There is no respite from the demands of diabetes.

Most of you know, I now use an insulin pump, which is a wonderful device, acting as a sort of external pancreas, except that I must tell it what to do. The thing is this: after a few years of living like this, with this "thing", this disease constantly "in your face", so to speak, one tends to get tired.

I reach a point where I simply don't give a flip what my sugar is. That's the danger zone right there. And normally it is the precursor to a round with some pretty nasty depression.

Now, I have taken antidepressants in the past. They never caused any of the horrible side effects I've heard about on YouTube...although there were a few way back when I was first put on them that we discovered DID NOT WORK. But even when you find one that works great, they're not free, nor are they cheap.

So, when push comes to shove, or more precisely, when money gets tight, I start looking at my long list of meds to see just how many of them I can do without.

And also, I don't WANT to be dependent on anti-deps, either. Even though I know I feel better and get along better when I'm on them.

So anyway, the kind of depression that comes shortly after or maybe along with the "who gives a flip" attitude is vicious. I feel so desperately alone and useless. I know I'm not taking care of myself, and with each passing year, I know that my body can't withstand me getting into this kind of funk as well. I know I'm doing damage to my organs and shortening my life. But somehow, SOMEHOW I just don't care.

So I ask you, how do you deal with that? Once you get to the point where you KNOW that you KNOW and you still don't care? You can't seem to MAKE yourself care. How do you rebound from that? How do you climb out of a hole that dark and that deep?

I'm not sure. But I sure need to know. God help me climb out of this hole, help me to stay out of it. Show me how. Amen.

encouragement...

Almost 2 years ago, my husband & I joined what a lot of people around here refer to as a mega-church. We'd thought it was that ourselves, til we went. We ended up there because 1) we were running late one Sunday morning and 2) we'd watched some of the sermons online and were intrigued & surprised to find that the messages from a church that big were entirely Biblical and doctrinally sound. So, what was a place to go in a pinch became our new church home. It was like God picked us up with two fingers & plopped us down there, just exactly where He wanted us.

We got to know the pastor and many people on staff. We became active in serving in several of the church's many ministries and several months ago, we found ourselves the newly appointed leaders of our Community Group!

I tell people we "accidentally" ended up there, but I know that God doesn't do accidents, or maybe He just makes use of them for His purposes. :)

The former leader wasn't at the first couple of meetings after summer break, which left just us and two other couples who had joined the church around the same time we had. We continued on with the meetings because, well, we enjoy them so much and those two "leaderless" meetings found us with new folks in attendance.

So I sent an email to a couple different staff members asking what was up and letting them know what had been going on. I received back a note saying basically, "Great! We put you and Tommy down as this group's leaders! Thanks for serving!" LOL! My first thought was that the other two "core" couples would think we'd angled for the position and my husband's first thought was, "Oh, no! I can't do that!"

We prayed about it, we talked to the other couples so they knew what had happened...and at last, God gave Tommy a peace about it.

Then last night, He gave us both an encouraging situation to, I feel, let us know we're right where He wants us.

We had one new fella show up. His wife had to work, and so he was on his own, which was fine. We have some "singles" in our group from time to time. The church encourages people to go to several different groups to see where they feel most comfortable.

Our group is amazing. As I said, there are us three couples who make up the core, who all serve in the church's First Touch ministry (greeting, parking, seating, etc... no one feels unwelcome at our church!) and we're pretty much always there when something's going on at the church. All that to say, we're a very chatty group, everyone participates in the discussion. I think that has always made new folks feel at ease to share with us, even though most of the time, they don't come back, for whatever reason... sometimes it's just that they are not consistent.

So anyway, after everyone, and I mean EVERYone.. even the custodian, had left last night, Tommy and I continued to talk with this gentleman. He'd opened up about his biggest sin-struggle and shared that it had caused hurt in this, his second marriage. We also found out that he had attended our former church, so we had that in common, along with having close friends who still attend there.

But we continued to talk, and he continued to open up about his life. We encouraged each other. He's working to redeem himself in his wife's eyes. That's a hard thing to tell ANYone, but he felt comfortable telling us. We stood outside the church, huddled under an overhang because it was raining and talked for almost an hour.

It was a real blessing to us.

What was?-- you might ask. Being an encouragement to someone, having someone feel comfortable enough to confide in us, to ask us to pray for them. It was a great blessing. And it was more confirmation that we're where God wants us.

That's what we want more than anything. To be exactly where God wants us. Sometimes that's hard to determine so it's just beautiful when God gives you a sign that you're on the right path. :)

Do we feel at a loss sometimes? You bet we do!! Do we feel we haven't or can't do what we need to or be what we need to be? Yes! Being where God wants you doesn't make you perfect. It just makes you feel safe... even when the sky seems to be falling around you.

He's awesome that way.

God bless you big time!!

fishy...

Okay, so this post is not one I was expecting to write. It's not something I was pondering til it hit me in the face. It will be a rambling, thinking-it-over, pondering post. So don't say I didn't warn you. *heh*

We were recently asked to become "leaders" of the community group (small group, similar to a Sunday school class) at the church we've been at for about a year now. The reason is because the guy who had been leading it simply didn't show up when groups resumed after summer break. Two other couples and us showed up for the first, along with another TWO couples who joined us to discuss the questions that are provided. No definite "leader" was necessary, it was a great group-participant discussion.

The next week, a different new couple showed up and we had another great group discussion. Another lady & I questioned each other as to what was up with this couple not showing. No emails, no contact with the guy who oversees all the groups & keeps a list of them. Nothing.

So, I decided we needed to get to the bottom of it, mostly notably because the second night, there was a different group listed as meeting in the room we've used for the past year. I emailed the care pastor, who forwarded it to the fella who "manages" groups. I told them we were having some great meetings, but were concerned since everyone except us thought that we no longer have a group. I told him we had taken care of the no-leader problem by instituting a last-one-in-leads policy. (which we sort-of had, albeit jokingly) And that this had resulted in a race between two of our men while the third was in the facilities. (lol!) All of it was in good humor and such, I just let them know we wanted to continue having our group & asked what we should do.

The reply I got from Group Manager Man was Congratulations! We, my husband and I, were now listed as the group's leaders. WHAT!?!?! I was surprised & my husband was terrified! I insisted that our group was full of great communicators & basically everyone participates in discussion, so we didn't need to necessarily have a leader. But he insisted that the group must have someone "on record" as leaders, more for contact than anything else. And so, that's how it happened.

The first night after this happened, we had yet another new couple and that was all. Thankfully, we'd spoken to the other two core couples & knew why they weren't there. Otherwise, we'd both have been terribly upset that none of them came!! We had a really wonderful time & my husband handled the whole thing well & started to feel better about the situation.

Thank God.

Then... I just by chance found out that there had been an email sent around by the man who had been the group leader. We had not got a copy of it, however. A friend forwarded it to me, and I have to say I was pretty taken aback by it.

It said he had thought & prayed long & hard about it, and decided to not lead a group this year. This is almost a month since groups had started back up. We all know that another guy, who had been in the group last year with his wife, had been trying to contact this former leader, so I assume that's why this email was sent all of a sudden. He'd sent it to the whole list of people who'd participated in group last year... except us.

There was no mention of the group still being active or anything. He encouraged people to find other groups to attend, if they hadn't already.

Hmm... so now it gets awkward. Why, if he was so torn up about stepping down as leader did he wait til now to send such an email, at least to part of the group?? I know this is because the one man had just started trying to reach him with the news.

Also, why did another couple who were in the group last year tell someone that this former leader had told them group wouldn't start til after Labor Day??

What on earth is going on??

I honestly don't know, but it makes me feel weary. This man is a rather well-off individual whose family owns a large business. Is it all just about politics?? I know that there was a fire at one of their homes earlier (yep, I said "one of"), so I know that what he said about having a rough time of it lately is true... but why wait? Why tell part of the people that group would start later than the designated time? Why not say that the group is still active? I don't mean that he should have said we are the new "leaders", but why not at least say that the "old group" is still running? Still meeting in the same place, at the same time?


Why???? That seems to be the million-dollar question. I just pray that I can not dwell on this or concoct scenarios about what is going on, about who said what to whom & when... I want to focus on Jesus since He, after all, is the reason there's any group at all.

Lord, please help me focus on You!!!

2012: Summer of The Yucky Foot

So... I've been pretty lax with the blog stuff, eh? Okay, okay... I've just flat ignored the thing. Sor-ree! I don't have the aptitude I used to for keeping up with a blog. I don't have the brain cells to create a cohesive post on a regular basis, so...*sigh*

But I am hoping to get started back with it now. At least that's what I want at this point in time. ;)

Alright, so there's been a lot going on in my life for the past few months. On June 14, I decided I was sick of looking at our neglected lawn. It was neglected because my poor hubby works too much & he can mow the entire lawn while I can only do the less-angular parts with our John Deere 316 hydrostatic tranny riding mower. He has rebuilt the thing almost entirely & it keeps our almost-2-acres looking spiffy...when we use it, that is! ;) So, I wanted to help my over-worked husband, okay?

I made one pass around my "usual" area of yard, then headed back out near the garden area and behind our shop. There's a very steep hill right behind the shop that I normally leave for Tommy. I can't even watch him mow it, it's that scary. It doesn't LOOK all that intimidating...until you're up there looking down. I've tried going up it before but the mower tipped backward, so I knew better than to do that. *ha*

I went along the top edge of the highest part that borders the property next to ours, a cemetery, okay? It's a cemetery. Yeah, yeah, yeah... at least the neighbors don't bother us! LOL! At the corner, I decided, "Hmm, I think I can go down this.." and off I went. And off the mower took. I decided to try the brakes, something I basically never use...and they really didn't work. I tried slamming the tranny into reverse to slow it down. Not the best idea I ever had...it slid a bit sideways...and started to tip a little.

I decided I did NOT want that mower on top of me & started weighing the idea of bailing. I thought for sure I could jump far enough & roll fast enough to clear the deck, but...*sigh* Alas. I didn't make it.

As soon as I was upright, sitting on my butt in the field watching the mower go around the corner of the shop (still don't know exactly how it did that) I knew the deck had gone over my foot.

I glanced down, saw the blood & panic started in. I saw my tennis shoe laying about 10 yards away from me, up the hill. I didn't look very close at my injured left foot, because I did't want to really know how bad it was til back up was there. I knew I needed to staunch the bleeding if I could, so I bent both knees up, the right leg on the ground, & sat my left heel down on the side of my right shoe/foot.

Then I called my hubby at work. I tried to stay calm, all the while during the ringing repeating, "God, please help me. Please be with me." Doing my best to sound chillaxed, I told hubby I'd fallen off the mower. "Are you cut?" Yes, I told him. "Are you bleeding?" Yep, I said. Then all I heard was "Hey, I gotta go." as he tore outta the office & headed home.

Okaaay, so then I went back to praying & realized I really didn't wanna be by myself, so I called down to my kids' house & asked my daughter-in-law if either of my sons were home from work yet. She said Corey, her husband, was. Apparently, I said, "Okay, tell him I fell off the lawn mower." and hung up.

Hmph. ;) Soon, I saw him coming up through the back yard, heard the mower shut off & then yell at DIL to grab some towels from inside the house.

Love her heart, she came running around the corner of the shop w/about six big bath towels, all white (LOL.. that's mostly what I have, it just struck me at the time how white they were!) She told me later she didn't know how bad it was, so she got plenty of towels!

Corey had some bottled water, which he splashed on my foot so he could look at it. About that time, Tommy showed up and my dad also pulled up in his ATV. Tommy ran back to get our truck & pull it to where I was. Dad, in a panic, proceeded to try to lift me himself with me asking him what in the world he was doing... but he & Tommy got me in the truck & he sped off toward the hospital.

*phew!* Just retelling this has worn me out, but I want to detail it here, so I'm gonna take a break.

Stay tuned for the rest of the Yucky Foot saga!! lOL!

For Part 2, go here.

miscellaneous & sundry...

... just to forewarn you that this post has no discernible direction as yet. ;) Just wanted to update you, you being me, because best I can tell, not a soul has looked at this blog. *shrugs* And that's okay. As much as I'd love some interaction, some comments, some VIEW numbers besides my own (LOL!) I'm content to just ease back into a sorta journaling with a blog again. It's amazing how rusty I am after years of NOT keeping up a blog! ANYhow... for the update...

I been sick. *cough cough* No, really. I have. I finally got sick of waiting for this awful yeast infection to go away. I'm not talking "internal" here, y'all, lest you get all uncomfortable & squirmy. ;) As bad as that kind is, this is outside, right where my legs attach to my *whispering* groin.... Awful, bumpy, stinging, itchy rash. ARGH! I thought it was probably from my sugars going up and down since I'd been painting & stuff. Any time I do something like that, especially after being a spud for so long, my sugars will drop, then I'll end up bouncing it too high. The lows I've had lately have been in the 30's, and they've been the panicky, sweaty, shaky kind that I don't realize are coming on til, *BAM*, there it is, full on hypoglycemia! So when I have a low like that, I always get ravenous afterward and the panicky part makes me overreact and "over correct", which then bounces me up too high. Too-high sugars can trigger a yeast infection, since yeast loves sugar & all. *sigh*

I had been using Nystatin cream, which should have cleared it up, but it didn't. Plus I had had that awful, hacking asthma-cough thing I get occasionally. It had hung on, coming in spells, for about 2 weeks. I finally broke down & went to the doctor.

Besides, it's time I get my flu shot AND I needed to have him write me a prescription for brand name Wellbutrin. Long story there, maybe in another post... So he asks if I've had a fever, sore throat, etc... nope. Just the cough & my albuterol inhaler wasn't helping at all. He asked if my ears were hurting. Nope. Just the cough, okay?! Then he looks in my ears and in that strange Indian way he has of making faces and comments says, "Odd." Well, I KNEW that wasn't good. He says, "I can't believe your ears aren't hurting."..*trails off* Um... uhkay. WHY? "Because you have a bad infection in both of them." Hmph! Who knew? I told him it was probably because I'd had a constant headache for several weeks and couldn't feel the ear pain because of that. Ha.

So, that was probably why I had the yeast infection because infection can jack up my sugars, which then feeds the yeast, et cetera, et cetera... No wonder I've been feeling like crap! But instead of giving me Diflucan, which is what I normally take when I have a mega-yeast infection that doesn't respond to OTC remedies, he gave me a powder form of the Nystatin saying that way the yeast doesn't also have moisture to thrive in. Urgh. I didn't know this is what he'd done til I got to the pharmacy since he sent the prescriptions via computer and I didn't get to look at them. Otherwise I'd have asked for the Diflucan right then. Any time I take antibiotics, I end up with a yeast infection, too, so starting out with one just wasn't good.

But I waited. That was last Friday, so I tried the powder all weekend, not really seeing any signs of improvement. Needless to say, Monday, I called and asked for the Diflucan. He ordered me seven of them. (Normal dose is one and for "normal" people, that usually wipes the infection out.) ... (of course, you realize by now, *I* am decidedly NOT normal..)

I got the stuff yesterday, have now taken three doses and have yet to see any improvement. I should have called him back Friday for the Diflucan, but by the time he was done with my appointment, the office was already closed. GAH!

And so, I've never had the first bit of pain in my ears, either. Which I find extremely weird, although when I had the SJS in 1994 it started with an ear infection, fiddling around for a couple weeks with about 4 antibiotics trying to cure it and then I had the reaction. *sigh*

So anyhow, I go back for a recheck day after tomorrow. Lord willing, that'll all be better and I can go ahead & get my flu shot over with.

I'm still not done with the small bedroom. Matter of fact, I haven't even touched it since I went to the doctor last week! I think I may go in there and get back to painting that trim. I wish Tommy would go ahead and take the carpet out so that I can get to the very bottom of the trim. He's talking about doing wood flooring in there, since he got so much practice doing it at his friend's house. I don't want to have to sand & repaint because there are carpet marks all over the trim! NOTE TO SELF: MAKE Tommy take the carpet up tonight! *heh*

Alrighty, I need to get busy, so take care & God bless!!

G~

.ch-ch-ch-changes...

Well, here we go again. I love autumn. It's my favorite season of all, I think. Although I also love the spring, autumn just seems to put some sort of electricity in the air. A sort of excitement somehow. Maybe it's because my birthday is in the fall? I dunno, but the colors, the smells, the change of temperatures.. they all work together to make me feel a little bit energized.

And maybe it's because of it that seems like every time we make big changes around the house, it'll be in the fall. Tommy says that's because it's hunting season and I want to keep him busy (so he can't go!) But I swear, that's not it! ;) It just somehow always happens that way.

I haven't posted much at all about the mega changes we're making in the house, but we are doing TONS of work around here. First, we're FINALLY putting a porch on the end of the house. It faces due east and is the door we use most often as it comes into the kitchen and is where the drive ends. We have a metal half-glass door there with one of those plastic grids and then a storm door. The heat from the direct sunlight cause all the paint on the door to peel and that plastic grid to warp, crack and finally break. We've replaced it about three times in the 17 or so years it's been there. I've put dark sheets over the storm door (a real lovely look -- not) to try and keep the heat off the door and we contemplated buying special tint but the heat is relentless. So, we're finally putting on the porch, or rather the roof on the porch. I'll try to post some pictures because the change it makes in the look of the place is awesome. We're thrilled with it so far.

Keep in mind when I say "we're putting on the porch" or painting or remodeling, I mean WE, as in my super-handy husband and myself!! Actually, a good friend of his has been helping him with the porch, but the majority of the work is done by Tommy. I'm SO thankful he's so knowledgeable & able to do all this stuff!

Since the porch deal meant extending the roof on one side, they had to get to the actual beams of the house, which means there's a couple of places in my kitchen and utility room walls that have been cracked. Which yes, means we have to repair those... and paint.

Painting. I hate it. But there's NOTHING that can change the look of a room more... and therefore, we've done TONS of it in this house. The inside of our windows are wood. And that means I have to paint them too if I change the trim color... which I almost always do. *sigh* I detest those daggone windows! But paint them I will if it means getting a fresh new kitchen. ;)

You see, we aren't the only ones making major changes in our living space. My mom & dad are building a new house on the hill behind us. Yeah, I know... lovely, so they can watch our every move even closer, but ... ANYway... when they move out, my boys + daughter-in-law, are buying their old house, plus dad's business, so they'll be moving too!

Mom is giving me some furniture, which is another reason we have to paint. She's giving me a really nice cherry living room set that is lots "fancier" than the rest of my furniture, so the super-pile o' stuff that has been my living room, containing my piano, the now-since-a-laptop unused computer desk, a couple of packed bookshelves, and stuff that had no other place to live, will become a nice "formal" living room!! Yep, that means getting all that crap out of here!

She's also giving me a set of bedroom furniture that I'll put in Corey's old room, which has been piled even worse than the living room; a jam-packed bookshelf, his old dresser piled with tons of stuff from his wedding (3 yrs ago!), a cabinet full of old school stuff, a microwave cart full of craft stuff, a couple of plastic bin/drawers full of more craft stuff... and the floor piled high with just STUFF!

We've decided we have too much stuff. And we've moved almost ALL of it out to the shop where Tommy put the two ramps of his lift together and raised them to table-height so I can go out there and sort. We moved the shelves & cabinets out there, too and I plan to toss & give away or sell SO much stuff!!!

Casey's room, when he moves into his basement "apartment" with Corey and Mel in the upstairs of the house, will become my craft room, where I plan to scrapbook to my heart's content!! :) I've collected scrapping stuff for YEARS and never once put a page together... because every time I tried, I was just overwhelmed and so unsure of exactly how to do it.

My dear cousin Lorna was in from Texas a couple weeks ago, and she is an avid scrapper, so she walked me through putting together a couple of pages and so I feel like I can actually DO this now... and once I have the space, I want to FINALLY do the boys' books and a wedding book for Corey and Melissa. I cannot WAIT!! :)

I'm now in the process of painting that future "formal" living room a deep chocolate brown color. Over a very light beige? It looks so crappy with the first coat, but the second covers very well. We're using an off white trim color and it makes the doors & windows really pop against the brown. I'm having a horrid time trying to cut in the walls against the ceiling though. Gah! It's cathedral in there, so it's all at an angle, which makes it hard to see where the wall stops & ceiling starts, plus it's all popcorn finish.. I'm gonna have to spend A LOT of time touching up the white. Lord willing, it won't take three coats to cover. *sigh* I'm gonna get me some THICK white paint! :)

Okay, so I'm going now. I keep running in here to finish this up between painting-on-the-ladder sessions. I get so fed up with how it's going, I have to have a break! *sigh* Oh well... the sooner I get that done, the sooner Tommy can use that huge 18" roller & get the rest of the paint done. With four doors & two windows, there's a ton of trimming, so I really have to get my butt in gear!!

Til next time....

Blessings,
G~

living alone... sorta

So this is a first.  My hubby's gone into the great "white" north with some buddies on a he-man fishing/canoe trip for a week!  Seriously, he's over 1,000 miles away from home & will soon be out of our cell service area.  ACK!

We've never taken vacations apart.  Well, actually, we've never really taken vacations as in "This is the week we always go *here* for vacation!  Can't wait!"  No.  We don't do that.  Our vacations, the few we've actually had, are always kinda spur of the moment & very sporadic & totally dependent on how our finances look at the time.

We have started going to a cabin with the family the first week of December for Christmas instead of buying gifts or putting the gathering on one home to deal with.  That's been nice & will be a great tradition, Lord willing, The "tradition" of the past two years has been for us to head out Sunday after church: me, Tommy, all the kids plus my parents (& since they're going, my sister as well). They usually stay til Wednesday & then kinda "switch out" with Tommy's parents with a meal all together in between. Well, not last year. My sister complained so much that she was bored most of the time that Mom & Dad left before Tommy's parents got there. Or maybe they were just sick of us. You never quite know with them.
So anyway, last year, we ended up with an extra night (perks of being a return client who rents a 3-bedroom cabin!) so we got one night "alone" with just the kids, which was nice. It can be pretty stressful sometimes, all that togetherness. *heh*
So yeah, Tommy's gone off on a he-man adventure. I'm glad he got to go, but a bit irritated by it too. He just does stuff that I never would, ya know? For instance, I wouldn't ever pursue spending this much money on something just for me. I never have. He has several times. I'm trying not to let this turn into a bash-fest, but I want to be honest about that rankling me a bit. He knows it, so don't think I'm sneaking off to gripe about him behind his back. I've griped about him to his face already. ;Þ
Anyhows, yep, it's just me here and it's so different. I am sometimes concerned that if *something* happens, what will I do? Obviously, I don't have any clue what *something* is, but am well aware that it could be anything! Whether or not it would warrant my worrying is a whole 'nother thing altogether, though. I mean, I'm surrounded by family who would, after all, help me if the dreaded *something* were to actually occur. I'd much rather have Tommy here with me, though, just ... I dunno, just because. But then on the flip side, what if something happened to him? How would I get to him if needed? I suppose one of the boys would drive with me all the way up there...
I'm actually not one to work herself into a frenzy concocting wild scenarios of possible disasters. I've been blessed to have been brought through some pretty nasty times and that has made me realize that no matter what, Jesus is firmly in control and my worrying is all for naught. A total waste of time (& kinda an insult to Him, ya know?) and so I call those horrible times a blessing because without them, I would not know the kind of peace that I do at times when other people would worry.
As you've probably figured out by now, this post really has no point. I just had the time to sit and think without interruption, which doesn't happen often when Tommy's here, so I thought I'd just write a bit. My apologies if you were expecting something profound. ;)
Thanks for stopping by!
G~