anticipation...

Every time I read that word, I hear the song in my head & remember the ketchup commercial from the 70's! But this post isn't about ketchup. It's about anticipation *ahem* or rather expectations and what can happen when we anticipate that our expectations will be met.. then they aren't.

I don't have to tell you, that leads to disappointment more often than not. I started thinking about this after reading another post about this very thing in relation to holidays, specifically Valentine's Day.

Boy, do I have some things to say about Valentine's Day.

I dated my husband for almost 2 years before we got married. I was still in high school since he graduated the year before me. During my senior year, Tommy was working all the time, first as a pizza delivery guy, then with a concrete contractor. I have to say, I never dated or tried to date the "rich" boys. All my (few!) boyfriends were just regular joes, from middle-class families.

So, Tommy was delivering pizzas when Valentine's day rolled around my senior year. I hadn't gotten anything delivered while at school, which was the "in thing" to do... y'know, so EVERYONE could see what your boyfriend got you. Yeah. I was a little disappointed, but we had a date for that night, so I still had high hopes.

Well, Tommy was late. About 45 minutes late, so I was already a little upset with him. As he walked through the door of my parents' house I was ready to grill him about where he'd been when he tossed a card toward me, then a small pink teddy bear and said, "I got a ticket because I stopped to get that stupid card."

I'll allow you a few minutes to pick your jaw up off the floor.

:::::::

Yeah, that's what he said. Seems he saw he was running late, so instead of parking in a space, he pulled up in front of the drugstore, ran in & did his shopping for me, his beloved. Um... yeah, he waited til the last minute.

That was STRIKE ONE.

Then he was late. Really late.

That was STRIKE TWO.

Then he called the card stupid. In front of my dad! Who, by the way, just stood mid-stride with his obligatory bowl of popcorn, grinning about the whole scene.

That's STRIKE THREE. And he's outta here!

Oh. My. Goodness!!

We didn't really fight, but then again, that wasn't the first traffic-related ticket he'd gotten since we'd been together either. But that's a whole 'nother story...

And so, yes, I married him about 6 months later ANYWAY. And when Valentine's Day rolled around again, he came home with a card. First thing outta my mouth was, "Is this another stupid card?"

Heh. Yeah... so the "stupid card" comes up every year. But not always in a mean or hateful way. These days, it comes up as a laugh. Once Tommy was chatting with a young husband who was for some reason telling Tommy the ways he "impressed" his then-girlfriend/now-wife with flowers, slipping in a fake one with the live bouquet & writing on the card, "I'll love you longer than the blossoms on these flowers." and such as that.

So, Tommy told him our Valentine's Day saga and he still razzes Tommy about it to this day. If he sees me, he ALWAYS asks if I got a stupid card.

Anyhow, so this Valentine's day, as with most days in our lives, we were running extremely tight with our finances. I was not expecting to get anything. I was busy doing up all the laundry because in a few days, I'd be leaving to go serve at an Emmaus weekend.

I never noticed Tommy slip anything into the house, but the next morning when I got up, he presented me with a pot of tulips. He knows I love flowers, but hate how they fade so quickly. These I can plant outside & enjoy for years to come. Then, after he'd gone to work I found a pink post-it note on the mirror in our bathroom with "Happy V Day!" which made me laugh because more than likely, he put "V" because he was almost late for work. That or he was afraid of spelling it wrong. ;) Then I found another pink note with the same message on the coffee maker. Another one on a mug in the cabinet. Another one on the fridge. I expected to find one on the bottle of creamer but didn't. LOL! Then I found another on the back door where I let Tucker in and out (all day long!)

I was so touched by this simple gesture. I can say that this was the sweetest Valentine's Day ever. And people, we've been married for twenty-seven years!! ;) But just the thought that he was thinking about what I'd do when I got up, each place I'd go, which cabinet I'd open or which door I'd send the dog out. I was on his mind. That was worth the world to me.

And it reminded me how God always has us on His mind, too. When things seem to go haywire and we think it's all wrong, then we find that He has planned to use whatever it is, and He's placed people or things in our paths to turn the bad into good... well, that's such a precious thought to me.

To realize someone, whether it's God or our loved one, that someone was thinking about us, was anticipating and planning for our every move... *smile* that is so sweet to me.

I am thinking the days of stupid cards are finally over.

Blessings...

Wow! Just.... WOW!!

So... it's been awhile, huh Blog? Well, I'm sorry. You know how it is.. life gets crazy, my mood gets down & I don't feel like writing anything. But maybe that's all over.


Sunday evening, two days ago, I got back from my Walk to Emmaus. It was an amazing, wonderful experience that every Christian should have. The instruction is so clear, the love almost palpable, the kinship so precious, the worship so alive... I have made some of the dearest friends who I can't wait to get to know even better because, even in such a short time, I love them so much! And the super thing is?? They love me too. :)

Yesterday was my first "4th Day" and I failed to get my Bible reading and prayers in. :( I was so disappointed in myself. This morning, I was determined to do it, and boy, does God ever bless our efforts in this!! I decided that I would make it as solemn and 'special' as I could, so I have the candle that my sweet hubby bought for me the other day.. for no reason at all. It is one of those glade candles that smell SO good... you should get one because it can help set the 'mood' if you will, for digging into The Word and talking to God. I also got myself a nice new notebook, a good pen, some highlighters, my Bible of course, and yeah, the reading glasses. :)

I used my worship booklet from The Walk and read the prayer in the front out loud. I also used the prayer for the Holy Spirit in the back because it really does help you call on Jesus for support and fulfillment in your studies. The amazing thing is that after praying, I just blindly opened my Bible and found Proverbs 12 waiting on me.

Seriously! Was that not THE PERFECT chapter for me today!! From verse one, it was smacking me right between the eyes... "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid." then in very 3 No one is established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous will never be moved." ..verse 4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones."

It just went on and on, with the themes I needed so desperately to "hear". Thank You, Lord Jesus!! :)

You know, last night Tommy called his cousin Liz. She'd called me during my Walk, and I hadn't called her back. When Tommy got on FB, she popped up a chat box, so he called her. He filled her in on all the details with Casey's four-wheeler accident, telling him how wonderfully he'd healed and how God was there every. step. of. the. way. And his eyes teared up and his voice cracked as he just bragged on Jesus in a way I'd never EVER seen him do before.

What a blessing!! And what an answer to a long-time (though on-again/off-again) prayer that he would become a more Godly husband and the true spiritual leader of our family. PRAISE GOD!!

So the Walk to Emmaus... what is it, you may be asking.. I can't tell you. *hee hee* Seriously. Not because I don't want to or am not supposed to, but it's something that you can't explain. Words don't describe how wonderful it is. You have to experience it for yourself and if you haven't been, you should and if you ever get the opportunity to go? Do NOT let anything keep you from it. It's truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience you should not miss. Check out the link, find out how to start your own journey to joy in the Lord!!

Blessings,
G~

living alone... sorta

So this is a first.  My hubby's gone into the great "white" north with some buddies on a he-man fishing/canoe trip for a week!  Seriously, he's over 1,000 miles away from home & will soon be out of our cell service area.  ACK!

We've never taken vacations apart.  Well, actually, we've never really taken vacations as in "This is the week we always go *here* for vacation!  Can't wait!"  No.  We don't do that.  Our vacations, the few we've actually had, are always kinda spur of the moment & very sporadic & totally dependent on how our finances look at the time.

We have started going to a cabin with the family the first week of December for Christmas instead of buying gifts or putting the gathering on one home to deal with.  That's been nice & will be a great tradition, Lord willing, The "tradition" of the past two years has been for us to head out Sunday after church: me, Tommy, all the kids plus my parents (& since they're going, my sister as well). They usually stay til Wednesday & then kinda "switch out" with Tommy's parents with a meal all together in between. Well, not last year. My sister complained so much that she was bored most of the time that Mom & Dad left before Tommy's parents got there. Or maybe they were just sick of us. You never quite know with them.
So anyway, last year, we ended up with an extra night (perks of being a return client who rents a 3-bedroom cabin!) so we got one night "alone" with just the kids, which was nice. It can be pretty stressful sometimes, all that togetherness. *heh*
So yeah, Tommy's gone off on a he-man adventure. I'm glad he got to go, but a bit irritated by it too. He just does stuff that I never would, ya know? For instance, I wouldn't ever pursue spending this much money on something just for me. I never have. He has several times. I'm trying not to let this turn into a bash-fest, but I want to be honest about that rankling me a bit. He knows it, so don't think I'm sneaking off to gripe about him behind his back. I've griped about him to his face already. ;Þ
Anyhows, yep, it's just me here and it's so different. I am sometimes concerned that if *something* happens, what will I do? Obviously, I don't have any clue what *something* is, but am well aware that it could be anything! Whether or not it would warrant my worrying is a whole 'nother thing altogether, though. I mean, I'm surrounded by family who would, after all, help me if the dreaded *something* were to actually occur. I'd much rather have Tommy here with me, though, just ... I dunno, just because. But then on the flip side, what if something happened to him? How would I get to him if needed? I suppose one of the boys would drive with me all the way up there...
I'm actually not one to work herself into a frenzy concocting wild scenarios of possible disasters. I've been blessed to have been brought through some pretty nasty times and that has made me realize that no matter what, Jesus is firmly in control and my worrying is all for naught. A total waste of time (& kinda an insult to Him, ya know?) and so I call those horrible times a blessing because without them, I would not know the kind of peace that I do at times when other people would worry.
As you've probably figured out by now, this post really has no point. I just had the time to sit and think without interruption, which doesn't happen often when Tommy's here, so I thought I'd just write a bit. My apologies if you were expecting something profound. ;)
Thanks for stopping by!
G~