So okay, true confessions... I've never seen Duck Dynasty. Never watched an episode in my life. We don't have cable or satellite, just Netflix & Hulu, neither of which offer Duck Dynasty! However, I see tons of references to them on Facebook & have watched a lot of youtube videos of Phil or Willie or Jase preaching or giving a testimony.
And.. I have this t-shirt that is MORE than a few years old.. probably .. I dunno, 10 years, maybe? And it has this big lowercase "h" on it with the word "happy" underneath. So when I wear it, people wanna ask me why I messed the quote up because I've learned that someone on the show is in the habit of saying, "Happy, happy, happy!" *sigh* I'm sorry, I just can't be fashionable AND a tightwad, okay? LOL!
All that to say this:: I am really happy lately.
Why? Well, maybe I've just realized that God's way beyond good to me. As of right now, I have a double-ear infection (AGAIN!) and am waiting to be sent to a specialist to see what's up with that, and I've just agreed to go back on some antidepressants to see if that doesn't help with the fatigue & the just plain don't-want-to's I seem to have all the time.
And still, I have to say, I'm happy.
For one, God's been answering prayers around here. For me, for my husband, for my children... He's just been all over us lately and I'm SO grateful for all He's done and continues to do!!
This past Sunday, I got to hear my first baby boy preach his first sermon. How humbling!! How hard it was to listen & see him up there behind the pulpit, proclaiming the word of God & realize that THAT is my little blonde-haired snuggly bug!! But it is, and God's SO good. MmmMM!
And it is looking like God's answered my prayer for a Godly girl to come into my baby son's life. And the way He's done it is nothing short of amazing. He's showing Himself to me at every turn. I'll say something about it to a friend and then either my baby boy or my potential new daughter-in-love will say almost the exact thing back to me. LOL! It's just been a joy to be alive lately, watching God do His thang in and anround us.
I have to laugh at the "potential new DIL" comment... do any of you remember Dolly Partin's song, Potential New Boyfriend?? LOL! Go listen to it & laugh with me!! ROFL!!
But seriously, I met this girl through Emmaus and actually worked sorta with her on the last Young Adult Chrysalis and when she gave her talk, I heard her say something my sweet son had said... she was waiting for God to bring the right guy into her life.
My heart kinda jumped as I thought, "Oh my goodness?? Could this be a nudge from You, God?" It took about a month, but through another Emmaus friend, the bug was put in their ears about each other & their first time ever meeting each other was a canoe trip down the Rockcastle River.. in the rain.. with our whole family. LOL!
This little gal has the sweetest personality & she's so loving & generous with that love. She feels like my own daughter already. Matter of fact, she is very close to both my husband and me, and we told Baby Boy after the first week, "Son, if it doesn't work out for you two, we think you should know, we're keeping her anyway." LOL!
And so now, almost a month later, they are praying about whether this is the relationship He wanted for each of them, if they are to move forward with the goal of marriage sometime in the future. And all I can do is stand back and be amazed at how much pains God takes with the desires of our hearts, and how much He has to love us to take the time to deal so closely and so personally in such matters. Woo!! He is just SO GOOD!!
I am trying to be patient, trying to just wait, just hold on & see His work and His plan fulfill itself. I don't wanna mess any of it up by trying to hurry things along. I'm just so glad to see my boy happy and feeling complete for the first time & so happy to have such a dear friend filling that role.
Woo!!! Praise Jesus!! \0/
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
sluggish...
That's me. I've been like an absolute slug for the past four or five days. Sleeping WAY more than normal & still never feeling really rested. I've been wearing my C-PAP machine at night and everything, but still feeling just lousy. Ugh!
I really think part of it has been depression. Not sure WHY exactly. Nothing really going on to make me feel any more depressed than normal. I mean, well, hopefully you *know* what I mean... just that there's nothing going on that would make me feel any different than usual. I am always feeling some level of depression, it's just that most of the time, no one notices it. It's not so severe that I can't function, ya know?
But the past few days... SHEESH! Maybe part of it was because The Man was out of town for a couple of days for work. ?? I dunno. I mean, that usually doesn't make me any worse. It's not like he's never done that before, ya know? And there's really no drama going on in my life right now. I have just felt like crap-ola for the past few days.
BUT... thank God, today, FINALLY, I started feeling more like myself. The Man was off work yesterday because of Good Friday, and so he ran around and did some errands, then he worked on building some kinda contraption to haul the canoe in the back of our pickup instead of tying it on top where the straps would rub ... can't have that on the spiffy pickup now can we?? Nope! :)
So, I slept most all day yesterday, then this morning, he got up early-ish to go on a day trip with our Babiest Boy, Casey. They packed up and left me laying in the bed. That was fine with me. I sure haven't felt up to trying any of these hiking trips with them. I'll have to tell you about the one where all three guys went on a 15+ mile hike. Oh boy, was that a doosey!
Anyhow, around noon, I dragged myself out of bed and actually felt almost human. I wasn't ready to crawl back into bed after an hour or so, which was a great improvement. When The Man called me around 3pm to say they were almost back, and wanted to know if a friend of mine had called to let me know that she was coming to our church's Saturday service, I told him I was actually feeling some better. He wanted to know if my friend was coming to know if he needed to hurry to make it home in time for us to go or not. She hadn't called, so he and Case took their time. He called again around 5pm to tell me that our oldest son & his wife, who had gone for a short hike in another county, had locked themselves out of their vehicle and did I want to go down with him and Case to unlock their car. I said I did.
In the meantime, just shortly after the guys had made it home, my friend called asking if I was at the church!! I called to see if she was by herself, and if so, I would have had the guys drop me off at church before they went to help the kids, but her husband and another couple had come with, so I made my excuses and rode out to a place called Turkey Foot to "rescue" Corey & Melissa.
They drove me around the camping area there so I could see what it was like. This is a place they want to make a first hike for me when the weather warms up. With my Yucky Foot, I'm a little leary of trekking too far, so we're gonna start with something short for me.
Anyhow, the kids wanted to treat me and Tommy to supper for the trouble, which was so sweet of them, and around that time, a couple of the kids from our former church called to say they were in our town & wanted to eat with us, so we just headed toward home instead of eating in Jackson County.
We met up at DQ and I had SUCH a fun time laughing at those silly boys. They are two of the three we sent on the last Emmaus Chrysalis Flights, and they're so much like our own kids, even calling us Mom & Dad most of the time. I laughed so hard & so much I ended up needing my inhaler, which frustrates me because it happens every time I get really tickled, but it was so worth it.
And now it's late, I'm getting ready to head to bed and The Man?? Well, he's decided to sleep outside in his hammock (a camping/hiking tent-hammock... I'll post a pic soon as I find one on here) to see how well he's equipped for these temperatures. LOL... ah, well... so it'll just be me and Tucker in the house tonight. Which is fine as long as Tuck doesn't decide to bark every time The Man comes in the house, which won't be much, I hope.... and if he doesn't snore too loud. At least I can put a C-PAP on The Man. Not so for Tucker, though....
God bless and BLESSED RESURRECTION DAY to you & yours!!
I really think part of it has been depression. Not sure WHY exactly. Nothing really going on to make me feel any more depressed than normal. I mean, well, hopefully you *know* what I mean... just that there's nothing going on that would make me feel any different than usual. I am always feeling some level of depression, it's just that most of the time, no one notices it. It's not so severe that I can't function, ya know?
But the past few days... SHEESH! Maybe part of it was because The Man was out of town for a couple of days for work. ?? I dunno. I mean, that usually doesn't make me any worse. It's not like he's never done that before, ya know? And there's really no drama going on in my life right now. I have just felt like crap-ola for the past few days.
BUT... thank God, today, FINALLY, I started feeling more like myself. The Man was off work yesterday because of Good Friday, and so he ran around and did some errands, then he worked on building some kinda contraption to haul the canoe in the back of our pickup instead of tying it on top where the straps would rub ... can't have that on the spiffy pickup now can we?? Nope! :)
So, I slept most all day yesterday, then this morning, he got up early-ish to go on a day trip with our Babiest Boy, Casey. They packed up and left me laying in the bed. That was fine with me. I sure haven't felt up to trying any of these hiking trips with them. I'll have to tell you about the one where all three guys went on a 15+ mile hike. Oh boy, was that a doosey!
Anyhow, around noon, I dragged myself out of bed and actually felt almost human. I wasn't ready to crawl back into bed after an hour or so, which was a great improvement. When The Man called me around 3pm to say they were almost back, and wanted to know if a friend of mine had called to let me know that she was coming to our church's Saturday service, I told him I was actually feeling some better. He wanted to know if my friend was coming to know if he needed to hurry to make it home in time for us to go or not. She hadn't called, so he and Case took their time. He called again around 5pm to tell me that our oldest son & his wife, who had gone for a short hike in another county, had locked themselves out of their vehicle and did I want to go down with him and Case to unlock their car. I said I did.
In the meantime, just shortly after the guys had made it home, my friend called asking if I was at the church!! I called to see if she was by herself, and if so, I would have had the guys drop me off at church before they went to help the kids, but her husband and another couple had come with, so I made my excuses and rode out to a place called Turkey Foot to "rescue" Corey & Melissa.
They drove me around the camping area there so I could see what it was like. This is a place they want to make a first hike for me when the weather warms up. With my Yucky Foot, I'm a little leary of trekking too far, so we're gonna start with something short for me.
Anyhow, the kids wanted to treat me and Tommy to supper for the trouble, which was so sweet of them, and around that time, a couple of the kids from our former church called to say they were in our town & wanted to eat with us, so we just headed toward home instead of eating in Jackson County.
We met up at DQ and I had SUCH a fun time laughing at those silly boys. They are two of the three we sent on the last Emmaus Chrysalis Flights, and they're so much like our own kids, even calling us Mom & Dad most of the time. I laughed so hard & so much I ended up needing my inhaler, which frustrates me because it happens every time I get really tickled, but it was so worth it.
And now it's late, I'm getting ready to head to bed and The Man?? Well, he's decided to sleep outside in his hammock (a camping/hiking tent-hammock... I'll post a pic soon as I find one on here) to see how well he's equipped for these temperatures. LOL... ah, well... so it'll just be me and Tucker in the house tonight. Which is fine as long as Tuck doesn't decide to bark every time The Man comes in the house, which won't be much, I hope.... and if he doesn't snore too loud. At least I can put a C-PAP on The Man. Not so for Tucker, though....
God bless and BLESSED RESURRECTION DAY to you & yours!!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
community...
I think I shared here how my hubby and I became the "leaders" of our church's community group. A community group is what most people refer to as "small group" or "accountability group". If not, well, we joined the group right after we finished a 6-week course that was basically a church-info thing. The church we attend is huge & definitely qualifies as a "mega church" in this area. But it's so radically different from any other traditional church in our area, they used to have this short "class" of sorts to let people understand the what's & why-fore's about the church. However, it was entitled "Next Steps" and some folks thought it was for new Christians. We're hoping they will start it back up all new & improved because it was a big help to us and let us ask questions we had about the doctrine and practices of the church before we joined.
So after the Next Steps group, we joined a group that, at the time, the pastor was a part of. That's before our church expanded to a second campus in the next town and his wife started her internship at the hospital in a town 80 miles away and they began a life of residing in two different places, travelling many miles every week! The group grew so large that it split at one point, then they broke for summer vacation. After that, when it was announced that groups would start meeting again, we and two other couples showed up at the usual room but no leader was to be found. Someone said they were still on vacation. We didn't know for sure, hadn't had any word from them, but we had one new couple there, so we just carried on as usual, discussing the sermon notes. The next week, the same thing happened... the man who had previously led our group wasn't there and a different new couple had come to join us.
After that second week, I emailed the guy who oversaw Community Groups to let him know what we'd been doing, to ask where the leader was & to find out if the group had moved or something. The reply I got was an apology for letting that happen, and a congratulations for "stepping up" and notice that we would now be listed as the group's "leaders".
Egads!! I wasn't expecting that! It made Tommy a bit uneasy because he didn't see himself as any sort of church leader, but after praying about it and talking it over with a couple of his friends, we took it as something the Lord wanted us to do, and plunged ahead.
At that time, the church staff started working on plans to "do" community groups in a more methodical, organized way. And so here we are, almost a year later with Tommy's supervisor at work (& a dear friend now) being appointed the new community groups' coordinator and getting ready for an event called "Group Link" next Sunday evening.
As I understand it, it'll be like a sort of job fair for Community Groups. People will be scattered around the large "foyer" area, representing their group and folks can wander around asking questions and getting info about any particular group they think will fit their schedules and interests.
We've been given a book and a DVD about leading and "running" community groups to be the most efficient and most helpful to folks. Of course, this would have to have happened the same time we started taking a 10-week Christian financial course, too. *sigh*
We have GOT to get busy reading the information. I'm praying it will be helpful. It seems that in the past the biggest problem, or one of the biggest, was having info about the various groups since most meet outside the church and on various days and various times. Hopefully, setting up one person to be in charge of groups info this way will help eliminate that. And they plan to have these Group Link events at least four times per year.
The suggestion is to have around 6-8 people per group, then to close that group. That way you promote community and build trust. And we have found that to be so since our group has been meeting at the church on Sunday evenings, we tend to "catch" people who have been looking for a group or who don't know that our church doesn't have a traditional service on Sunday nights. It's been good to be able to let these people join in, but in about 99% of the cases, our group is not what they want or need. Either the age range is off, the interest or life stage is incompatible or something. And they leave. Of course, with our core group of folks, we're not as forthcoming or spend the time explaining things to the new person and don't get to delve as deeply into things as we normally would.
I'm just praying that, as it looks like we may be losing the two couples who have been the core of our group (due to changing job situations, etc) we may be starting from scratch and that makes me a little uneasy. You don't realize how much you've come to depend on a close relationship with others in your group til you're about to lose them. But I guess God's got something else in store for us and I'm confident that He will place the right people in our group.
The last thing I'll mention is the fear I have, well, more of a concern, but still something I need to overcome, of having people in our group that we have trouble connecting with. Sometimes you get folks that you just can't "click" with and you stay unsure of for one reason or another. Sometimes they seem oblivious to this situation or sometimes they seem to feel the total opposite that you do and want to cling tightly to you... all the while, you're trying your darnedest to meet their needs while still feeling "out of sync" with them.
*sigh* I'm praying God settles this for us too. And I'm sure He will... I just hope it's not by bringing us a whole posse of people we feel non-comfortable with. LOL! Wouldn't that just be the way to teach us, though?
Ha. Thanks for reading... I'll keep you posted on how this goes!
Blessings!
So after the Next Steps group, we joined a group that, at the time, the pastor was a part of. That's before our church expanded to a second campus in the next town and his wife started her internship at the hospital in a town 80 miles away and they began a life of residing in two different places, travelling many miles every week! The group grew so large that it split at one point, then they broke for summer vacation. After that, when it was announced that groups would start meeting again, we and two other couples showed up at the usual room but no leader was to be found. Someone said they were still on vacation. We didn't know for sure, hadn't had any word from them, but we had one new couple there, so we just carried on as usual, discussing the sermon notes. The next week, the same thing happened... the man who had previously led our group wasn't there and a different new couple had come to join us.
After that second week, I emailed the guy who oversaw Community Groups to let him know what we'd been doing, to ask where the leader was & to find out if the group had moved or something. The reply I got was an apology for letting that happen, and a congratulations for "stepping up" and notice that we would now be listed as the group's "leaders".
Egads!! I wasn't expecting that! It made Tommy a bit uneasy because he didn't see himself as any sort of church leader, but after praying about it and talking it over with a couple of his friends, we took it as something the Lord wanted us to do, and plunged ahead.
At that time, the church staff started working on plans to "do" community groups in a more methodical, organized way. And so here we are, almost a year later with Tommy's supervisor at work (& a dear friend now) being appointed the new community groups' coordinator and getting ready for an event called "Group Link" next Sunday evening.
As I understand it, it'll be like a sort of job fair for Community Groups. People will be scattered around the large "foyer" area, representing their group and folks can wander around asking questions and getting info about any particular group they think will fit their schedules and interests.
We've been given a book and a DVD about leading and "running" community groups to be the most efficient and most helpful to folks. Of course, this would have to have happened the same time we started taking a 10-week Christian financial course, too. *sigh*
We have GOT to get busy reading the information. I'm praying it will be helpful. It seems that in the past the biggest problem, or one of the biggest, was having info about the various groups since most meet outside the church and on various days and various times. Hopefully, setting up one person to be in charge of groups info this way will help eliminate that. And they plan to have these Group Link events at least four times per year.
The suggestion is to have around 6-8 people per group, then to close that group. That way you promote community and build trust. And we have found that to be so since our group has been meeting at the church on Sunday evenings, we tend to "catch" people who have been looking for a group or who don't know that our church doesn't have a traditional service on Sunday nights. It's been good to be able to let these people join in, but in about 99% of the cases, our group is not what they want or need. Either the age range is off, the interest or life stage is incompatible or something. And they leave. Of course, with our core group of folks, we're not as forthcoming or spend the time explaining things to the new person and don't get to delve as deeply into things as we normally would.
I'm just praying that, as it looks like we may be losing the two couples who have been the core of our group (due to changing job situations, etc) we may be starting from scratch and that makes me a little uneasy. You don't realize how much you've come to depend on a close relationship with others in your group til you're about to lose them. But I guess God's got something else in store for us and I'm confident that He will place the right people in our group.
The last thing I'll mention is the fear I have, well, more of a concern, but still something I need to overcome, of having people in our group that we have trouble connecting with. Sometimes you get folks that you just can't "click" with and you stay unsure of for one reason or another. Sometimes they seem oblivious to this situation or sometimes they seem to feel the total opposite that you do and want to cling tightly to you... all the while, you're trying your darnedest to meet their needs while still feeling "out of sync" with them.
*sigh* I'm praying God settles this for us too. And I'm sure He will... I just hope it's not by bringing us a whole posse of people we feel non-comfortable with. LOL! Wouldn't that just be the way to teach us, though?
Ha. Thanks for reading... I'll keep you posted on how this goes!
Blessings!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
judgmental...
of or denoting an attitude in which judgments about other people's conduct are made
1. Of, relating to, or dependent on judgment: a judgmental error.
2. Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones: a marriage counselor who tries not to be judgmental.
Don't we all know them? Judgmental people. And, for the most part, don't we all despise that quality? I know I do.
Did you know the word judgment is used 235 times in the ESV (English Standard Version) and 408 times in the KJV (King James Version)? The word judge is used 226 times in the ESV and 286 times in the KJV. The word judgmental is used zero times in either of those versions of the Bible. Maybe that's because man sort of created that word AND its meaning.
Our pastor has been doing a series of sermons he calls "Things People Hate About Christians". LOL! How do ya like that? It's been an awesome series. This is something I really appreciate about our pastor... he takes on topics that, if you grew up in a traditional Protestant church, you always wondered about but either you knew not to ask, or you did ask and wasn't given a real answer. He comes from a "religious" background: grew up in a Baptist church, his dad was a deacon, his family was always at every church service & always active in church activities. That's basically me. And it's also a lot of other people, or at least close to it.
So he tackled these issues and it's SO refreshing to hear honest answers, even if they're not comfortable to hear. For instance, one of the sermons in this series was Hypocrisy. Oooh, that stung, didn't it? He also talked about Judgmental attitudes.
Ouch. He didn't just brow-beat us about being judgmental, but he showed us that judging things, and yes, even people (by their actions (fruit) was Biblical, however, he pointed out very eloquently & logically how we should not judge "outsiders", those who are not part of the Body of Christ, in the same way we judge "our own", the "insiders", the Christians.
It's unfair to judge people who make no claims to follow Jesus in the same way we judge (or ascertain their spiritual health by what we see in their lives) people who claim to know Jesus and have made Him the Master of their lives. And when you boil it down, that IS where a lot of churches today have it seriously wrong.
For instance, I read from a local man how the preacher at his church had basically run off a couple who'd started coming there, telling them that because they were living together outside of marriage, they were not welcome.
*mouth gapes open, eyes wide* How's that for agape love? Sheesh!
Now, I am willing to admit that a few years ago, that would have been my sentiment. Yes, I grew up with the mindset that everyone knows the Bible, knows they are living in sin, and should know enough to "clean themselves up" before coming to church.
But where in the Bible does it say this or even HINT that anyone can or should try to "clean themselves" before approaching God??? Doesn't scripture teach the exact opposite of this? Don't our very hymns say, Just as I am, without one plea...??? And What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus...???
How can we get them to Jesus if we ban them from the church because they're not "living right" or whatever?? Good grief!! I've seen this happen over and over in my life. Matter of fact, in one very legalistic (judgmental) church we found ourselves in many years ago, our family was a victim of this kind of thinking. Only they were judging us, supposed "insiders", according to some additional pastor-created rules that were entirely unBiblical. Thank God we got out of there. That was one of the worst times in my life as these people literally tried to drive a wedge between my husband and myself over their self-righteous man-made rules.
*puke*
I know of at least two other families, very "high up" in this church who came out of it with broken families and deep emotional, spiritual scars. How very sad. I'm so thankful we didn't end up that way. But let me tell you, it was not easy and it was not without the Hand of God moving in our lives.
I get annoyed when someone wants to start a "debate" about Christianity and first thing they do is throw out the "Who are you to judge me?" argument. These people are in serious denial and/or have been victims of some "salt-bombing" (I'll explain that one later) harsh, misguided Christian who told them all about the many rules they were breaking as if they (the victim) should know better.
2 Chronicles 19:5-6 tells us about Solomon appointing judges in the land to decide disputes among the people. And in these particular scriptures, he's telling them to be wise because they are not working for men, but for the Lord. Oh, if our judges today took their jobs as seriously as these men probably did!
I always feel the need to point out that the Bible does NOT tell us as Christians that we are not to judge. How else are we to know what is right or wrong if we don't use our God-given minds to judge between the two? It does, however, tell us
In 2 Corinthians 13:5-6, Paul tells us to "test ourselves", and I believe that means not only our own personal self, but also those who are "like us", ie: saved by grace, a professing Christian:
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! I hope you will find out that we have not failed the test.
God is the Ultimate Judge of the whole world. Psalm 9:7-9 tells us
"But the Lord sits enthroned forever;
he has established his throne for justice,
and he judges the world with righteousness;
he judges the peoples with uprightness.
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble."
And Ezekiel 24:14 tells us
"I am the Lord. I have spoken; it shall come to pass; I will do it. I will not go back; I will not spare; I will not relent; according to your ways and your deeds you will be judged, declares the Lord God.”
That should make us take very seriously the way we live our lives, the way we treat others, how generous we are with the needy, how kind we are to the hurting...
We need to realize that our behavior affects our influence with those who are watching. Never think no one is watching you. There's ALWAYS someone watching us. Either to see if we'll succeed or to see if we'll fail. It doesn't matter if we rise or fall, they will be watching how we react to everything that happens in our lives. React with the knowledge that Jesus is in control, no matter what happens. And please, remember we as Christians are here to bring people to Christ and we can't do that if we are repelling people by being judgmental.
Blessings!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
hover...
I just read a post by a dear friend of mine. She was talking about how God seemed to be wanting her to "be still" while back here on Earth, her three young boys were running around, the laundry needing doing, dishes needed washing and meals needed cooking. Oh, how I remember those days.
It's so funny now that my children are young adults to look at moms with young children. I always say something like, "Don't blink. They will be grown before you know it." Part of the time, they will look at me like I'm a loon as they are tired and ragged and worn out from trying to keep up and keep it all together.
But seriously, young moms, DON'T BLINK!!! Their childhood will be over all too soon. Mark my words.
So back to Brandi's post, she obeyed the Holy Spirit and did spend some quiet time praying and she shared about all the different people she prayed for.
The list was impressive. Not because it was long or contained 'the' most tragically needy persons, but because it was MASSIVE in its scope.
She mentioned the soldiers who are willingly defending our freedoms, the persecuted who are being targeted or imprisoned for their faith, the orphans, the homeless, the starving...
I don't know about you, but when I start to think about all these people who NEED, some in DESPERATE need, our prayers it makes me feel...
What?
Overwhelmed. I feel like I can't pray for all those people. And if I do, since I don't "know" them personally, that it's not doing much good. Sometimes a particular group comes to mind, for instance abused children... and in my mind, it seems so useless to say, "God, watch over and protect these children." But is it? I KNOW I serve a God Who is well able to do what I just asked, but somehow, to my fleshly mind, it seems so inadequate.
As I'm mulling this over with a new perspective, I wonder if perhaps when I pray such a prayer, maybe there is one certain child out there who needs an intercessor. What do you think? Do you think such 'vague' prayers are "assigned" to people like that?
I dunno where this train of thought is coming from and whether it upsets me more or eases my mind. *hmph!*
I mean, if I sincerely pray for "children" but in actuality there's one child who "gets" the benefit of that prayer... well, is that fair??
*chuckle* I'm disturbing myself now. Good grief!! I have honestly never thought about it that way before.
Guess I need to do some study.
And speaking of study, since I can't seem to write one post on one topic...
I think I've told you about how the hubby and I became community group leaders at church a few months ago, right? Well, after several months, the church offered a "Covenant Marriage" course that we thought would be helpful and since our group is all married couples, we just decided to 'take' the whole group to this 6 week course.
That was a disaster. First of all, the course wasn't quite what we'd thought it was going to be. It was geared more towards couples who didn't have a decades-old marriage. Some people hated it and let us know.. and consequently, never came back to the group!
Others merely didn't like it and didn't attend the class. But they did come back once we went back to our regular meetings.
Now the church is offering a financial study, Navigating Your Finances God's Way from Compass. We were not planning to attend at all. After the last disaster, we just didn't even consider it, even though the two other couples who are core members (they're almost always at group) were planning to attend.
It started this past Sunday night, and we were there in case anyone else showed up expecting to join out group. But no one did, so at the insistence of the other couples, we went into the room where the finance class was being held.
We didn't realize there would be curriculum to purchase, but we paid for the two books and put our names on the list. It seemed as if maybe God had other plans for us in this.
So, we are now doing the homework for this course. We're reading the book Your Money Counts by Howard Dayton. It's a great book. Just reading it without the other book would be a good idea for anyone who's not as good with their money as they ought to be AND who wants to handle their money according to scripture.
Hubby and I are both feeling like it was God's plan for us to be in this class, even though it's planned to be 10 weeks long!! God will work it all out.
I gotta hit the sack now. It's almost 2 am!! Guess this is what I get for going to bed at 8 pm! *shrugs*
Blessings!
It's so funny now that my children are young adults to look at moms with young children. I always say something like, "Don't blink. They will be grown before you know it." Part of the time, they will look at me like I'm a loon as they are tired and ragged and worn out from trying to keep up and keep it all together.
But seriously, young moms, DON'T BLINK!!! Their childhood will be over all too soon. Mark my words.
So back to Brandi's post, she obeyed the Holy Spirit and did spend some quiet time praying and she shared about all the different people she prayed for.
The list was impressive. Not because it was long or contained 'the' most tragically needy persons, but because it was MASSIVE in its scope.
She mentioned the soldiers who are willingly defending our freedoms, the persecuted who are being targeted or imprisoned for their faith, the orphans, the homeless, the starving...
I don't know about you, but when I start to think about all these people who NEED, some in DESPERATE need, our prayers it makes me feel...
What?
Overwhelmed. I feel like I can't pray for all those people. And if I do, since I don't "know" them personally, that it's not doing much good. Sometimes a particular group comes to mind, for instance abused children... and in my mind, it seems so useless to say, "God, watch over and protect these children." But is it? I KNOW I serve a God Who is well able to do what I just asked, but somehow, to my fleshly mind, it seems so inadequate.
As I'm mulling this over with a new perspective, I wonder if perhaps when I pray such a prayer, maybe there is one certain child out there who needs an intercessor. What do you think? Do you think such 'vague' prayers are "assigned" to people like that?
I dunno where this train of thought is coming from and whether it upsets me more or eases my mind. *hmph!*
I mean, if I sincerely pray for "children" but in actuality there's one child who "gets" the benefit of that prayer... well, is that fair??
*chuckle* I'm disturbing myself now. Good grief!! I have honestly never thought about it that way before.
Guess I need to do some study.
And speaking of study, since I can't seem to write one post on one topic...
I think I've told you about how the hubby and I became community group leaders at church a few months ago, right? Well, after several months, the church offered a "Covenant Marriage" course that we thought would be helpful and since our group is all married couples, we just decided to 'take' the whole group to this 6 week course.
That was a disaster. First of all, the course wasn't quite what we'd thought it was going to be. It was geared more towards couples who didn't have a decades-old marriage. Some people hated it and let us know.. and consequently, never came back to the group!
Others merely didn't like it and didn't attend the class. But they did come back once we went back to our regular meetings.
Now the church is offering a financial study, Navigating Your Finances God's Way from Compass. We were not planning to attend at all. After the last disaster, we just didn't even consider it, even though the two other couples who are core members (they're almost always at group) were planning to attend.
It started this past Sunday night, and we were there in case anyone else showed up expecting to join out group. But no one did, so at the insistence of the other couples, we went into the room where the finance class was being held.
We didn't realize there would be curriculum to purchase, but we paid for the two books and put our names on the list. It seemed as if maybe God had other plans for us in this.
So, we are now doing the homework for this course. We're reading the book Your Money Counts by Howard Dayton. It's a great book. Just reading it without the other book would be a good idea for anyone who's not as good with their money as they ought to be AND who wants to handle their money according to scripture.
Hubby and I are both feeling like it was God's plan for us to be in this class, even though it's planned to be 10 weeks long!! God will work it all out.
I gotta hit the sack now. It's almost 2 am!! Guess this is what I get for going to bed at 8 pm! *shrugs*
Blessings!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
yippee!!
YAY!!!! I was up & STAYED up since about 8:30 am today!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?
I barely can. But yep, I'm up & not necessarily getting a lot accomplished, but hey y'all, just being awake & out of bed at this hour is a huge accomplishment for me when you look at how much I've been sleeping lately.
And, another praise report, the past few days, my blood sugars have been really good! It had got to the point that they were hovering in the 200's almost all the time, or higher after food. Seemed like nothing I did helped. But now they are comfortably residing in the 100's. It was actually 102 this morning when I got up, so thank You, Jesus for that!! :)
I really need to get busy doing something. The house, as you might have guessed, has gone completely to the dogs. And speaking of dogs, my poor Tucker needs a bath in a major way. Actually he and I both need trips to the barber!!
I started noticing my hair coming out in great number almost a year ago. Maybe in mid-spring of last year. I mean, usually anyone with a thyroid condition does loose a bit more hair than most people, but this was even more than "normal" for me. The doctor wanted to know if it was more than 100 hairs.
O.o
Are you kidding me? I don't know, I didn't count! Sheesh! So I scooped up what was left stuck to the drain after I washed my hair, pulled the new "wig" fodder out of my hair brush that I'd been cleaning every day, and stuck them in a baggie. Next doctor visit, I plopped it down on her desk. She was speechless for a second. Hahaha.
Anyhow, so since she's already checked my thyroid & found no problems there (that would cause the hair loss) she looked at my meds. She said the only Rx I had that could possibly be causing this was my blood pressure med, so I was switched to a new one.
And TAH-DAH!! That seemed to do the trick. In a few weeks, I noticed the amount of drain & brush hair was markedly decreased. So in all that time, I didn't go to my stylist because even though the hair was coming out, there was new growth behind it, so I had like a bazillion different hair lengths... some of course, right around my face. At this point, that particularly bothersome patch of hair is about 5 inches long... and all the surrounding hair is more like 12-14 inches long. Oh yay. :\ It looks ridiculous and it's getting harder to hide it.
I really NEED to go get my hair cut. But it takes forever to get in with my favorite gal... and I actually hate getting my hair cut.
Yes, I hate it. Why? I'm not sure unless it's because of all the traumatic experiences I had with salons as a child. My mother was constantly trying to get some curl in my hair, so perms galore, then I guess she just gave up at one point & had me in this what she called "pixie" hair cut. I looked like a boy. A very angry boy.
Gah!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?
I barely can. But yep, I'm up & not necessarily getting a lot accomplished, but hey y'all, just being awake & out of bed at this hour is a huge accomplishment for me when you look at how much I've been sleeping lately.
And, another praise report, the past few days, my blood sugars have been really good! It had got to the point that they were hovering in the 200's almost all the time, or higher after food. Seemed like nothing I did helped. But now they are comfortably residing in the 100's. It was actually 102 this morning when I got up, so thank You, Jesus for that!! :)
I really need to get busy doing something. The house, as you might have guessed, has gone completely to the dogs. And speaking of dogs, my poor Tucker needs a bath in a major way. Actually he and I both need trips to the barber!!
I started noticing my hair coming out in great number almost a year ago. Maybe in mid-spring of last year. I mean, usually anyone with a thyroid condition does loose a bit more hair than most people, but this was even more than "normal" for me. The doctor wanted to know if it was more than 100 hairs.
O.o
Are you kidding me? I don't know, I didn't count! Sheesh! So I scooped up what was left stuck to the drain after I washed my hair, pulled the new "wig" fodder out of my hair brush that I'd been cleaning every day, and stuck them in a baggie. Next doctor visit, I plopped it down on her desk. She was speechless for a second. Hahaha.
Anyhow, so since she's already checked my thyroid & found no problems there (that would cause the hair loss) she looked at my meds. She said the only Rx I had that could possibly be causing this was my blood pressure med, so I was switched to a new one.
And TAH-DAH!! That seemed to do the trick. In a few weeks, I noticed the amount of drain & brush hair was markedly decreased. So in all that time, I didn't go to my stylist because even though the hair was coming out, there was new growth behind it, so I had like a bazillion different hair lengths... some of course, right around my face. At this point, that particularly bothersome patch of hair is about 5 inches long... and all the surrounding hair is more like 12-14 inches long. Oh yay. :\ It looks ridiculous and it's getting harder to hide it.
I really NEED to go get my hair cut. But it takes forever to get in with my favorite gal... and I actually hate getting my hair cut.
Yes, I hate it. Why? I'm not sure unless it's because of all the traumatic experiences I had with salons as a child. My mother was constantly trying to get some curl in my hair, so perms galore, then I guess she just gave up at one point & had me in this what she called "pixie" hair cut. I looked like a boy. A very angry boy.
Gah!
Monday, February 11, 2013
do not be deceived...
I sometimes get caught up in, if you will, the conspiracy "theory" that there are forces at work in the world today that seek to put in effect a "n ew w orld o rder" that will seat on a throne an inherently wicked and evil "one" to be worshiped by the masses of humanity to its (humanity's) utter and final destruction.
Um, okay, yeah... I believe that. Say what you will about it, but Revelation and some En d Tim e theorists have it right. This world will end one day before we know it, and as Scripture indicates, "no man knows" when. (Mark 13:32 & Matthew 24:36)
However, we can use the Holy Bible to interpret events in the world and the many prophecies contained in God's Word, the Holy Bible, to prepare our hearts and minds, or more likely - especially in my case, calm our hearts and minds when we see these things happening around us.
God is not to be mocked and moreover, the Bible states that He "is not", in other words, He's already got this under His control & Authority. No matter how many "men" (meaning: humans) shout disparaging comments or statements about my God or my Savior, Jesus Christ, in the end, God IS NOT MOCKED. (Galatians 6:7) This scripture tells us that when a man (again, meaning human) smears the name of God or Jesus, he is sure to reap the consequences in the end. Don't be fooled just because lightening didn't strike you down that you got by with mocking God.
I'm posting a link to the video I just watched. It's about 2.5 hours long, so be sure you have the time before you start it. If you're like me, you won't want to pause it for anything. This is one of the best videos of its kind that I've seen because it is very factual & full of references and quotations. But also, it does not leave you with all of this "bad news" and come to an end. It offers the one and only solution to the trials to come: Jesus Christ! I had never seen a "documentary" such as this that ever offered the watcher a remedy for all the gloom that comes with an end times study or research.
NWO & demons Explained
I firmly believe that the culture of today is ripe for introduction of the anti-christ. Do I propose to know who he is? No, of course not. But I do see quite clearly that our society is more than ready for him.
If you watch the video I posted, you'll see what I mean. At least this is what I am convinced of. I think today's eager acceptance of things like vampires, zombies and aliens makes us super-sheeple, ready to believe anything or anyone who can do anything that could be considered "super - nat ural". We are bombarded with images, television shows, movies and books about all these things. Take the latest fascination with movies & books like Twilight or the Harry Potter series. There are tons of shows on these days about ghost hunters, ufo abductees and spirit-channeling mediums. And they are largely accepted at face value, as gospel truth.
And I'm not telling you they are not real.
Yep, you read that right. I'm not saying those things are not real. Because I believe they are, however, I do not take it all at face value. I believe these things are so popular and so a part of the culture because the heinous force behind all that is evil is preparing the world to gobble up the things he will present as proof of his "power".
Please don't think I'm proposing that I am an authority of any kind on this topic. I'm not, but at times, I do get very interested as I see things happen around me that clearly pave the way to usher in an evil "kingship". And I fear for those who follow these things, those who see no harm in it, who consider the deception to be fact... in short, I fear for the lost souls who are eating up this culture of the su per- nat u ral.
If you decide to watch the video, we'll chat about it if you want to leave a comment.
Um, okay, yeah... I believe that. Say what you will about it, but Revelation and some En d Tim e theorists have it right. This world will end one day before we know it, and as Scripture indicates, "no man knows" when. (Mark 13:32 & Matthew 24:36)
However, we can use the Holy Bible to interpret events in the world and the many prophecies contained in God's Word, the Holy Bible, to prepare our hearts and minds, or more likely - especially in my case, calm our hearts and minds when we see these things happening around us.
God is not to be mocked and moreover, the Bible states that He "is not", in other words, He's already got this under His control & Authority. No matter how many "men" (meaning: humans) shout disparaging comments or statements about my God or my Savior, Jesus Christ, in the end, God IS NOT MOCKED. (Galatians 6:7) This scripture tells us that when a man (again, meaning human) smears the name of God or Jesus, he is sure to reap the consequences in the end. Don't be fooled just because lightening didn't strike you down that you got by with mocking God.
I'm posting a link to the video I just watched. It's about 2.5 hours long, so be sure you have the time before you start it. If you're like me, you won't want to pause it for anything. This is one of the best videos of its kind that I've seen because it is very factual & full of references and quotations. But also, it does not leave you with all of this "bad news" and come to an end. It offers the one and only solution to the trials to come: Jesus Christ! I had never seen a "documentary" such as this that ever offered the watcher a remedy for all the gloom that comes with an end times study or research.
I firmly believe that the culture of today is ripe for introduction of the anti-christ. Do I propose to know who he is? No, of course not. But I do see quite clearly that our society is more than ready for him.
If you watch the video I posted, you'll see what I mean. At least this is what I am convinced of. I think today's eager acceptance of things like vampires, zombies and aliens makes us super-sheeple, ready to believe anything or anyone who can do anything that could be considered "super - nat ural". We are bombarded with images, television shows, movies and books about all these things. Take the latest fascination with movies & books like Twilight or the Harry Potter series. There are tons of shows on these days about ghost hunters, ufo abductees and spirit-channeling mediums. And they are largely accepted at face value, as gospel truth.
And I'm not telling you they are not real.
Yep, you read that right. I'm not saying those things are not real. Because I believe they are, however, I do not take it all at face value. I believe these things are so popular and so a part of the culture because the heinous force behind all that is evil is preparing the world to gobble up the things he will present as proof of his "power".
Please don't think I'm proposing that I am an authority of any kind on this topic. I'm not, but at times, I do get very interested as I see things happen around me that clearly pave the way to usher in an evil "kingship". And I fear for those who follow these things, those who see no harm in it, who consider the deception to be fact... in short, I fear for the lost souls who are eating up this culture of the su per- nat u ral.
If you decide to watch the video, we'll chat about it if you want to leave a comment.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
digging out...
Wow... it's been SO long since I had a blog with, well, with lots of things. Like regular posts, fancy gadgets, um, readers!
I don't quite know what to do with myself. But I do want to say THANK YOU for the wonderful, encouraging comments. You don't know how much they've done for me. :)
Back on the topic of depression... the last couple of days, I've been able to get up several hours earlier. That's a step in the right direction. I wasn't this specific before, but I have been sleeping like 14-18 hours, y'all. Yeah, HOURS. I just could NOT make myself get out of bed, other than slogging through the room to let Tucker in and out, and a trip to the bathroom, I was sacked out sleeping like a dead woman. Totally zonked and just UNable to make myself wake up.
Of course that meant I was also missing my morning meds, which includes a huge dose of thyroid (duh, the metabolism regulating hormone?!) I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease back in 1999, and since my heart rate was near 190, I was immediately put on beta blockers, had to stop breastfeeding my baby (my second & last child) and was sent to an endocrinologist for further treatment of the Grave's. The nurses there kept telling me how much better I was going to feel once they got this under control. I'd quit feeling SO tired and stop being perpetually "too hot" & sweating ALL the time and I'd have SO much MORE energy.
Yeah. Whatever. It didn't happen like that AT ALL!! The endo decided a radioactive iodine treatment, or I-131, was the best way to go. Sounds creepy, I know and I wish in the worst way that I'd had the wisdom to seek a second opinion back then, I was just SO eager to start feeling better!! I never gave it a thought and forged ahead.
ANYhow... after the I-131 treatment, my thyroid production was not decreased, but it CEASED. I mean, it went from about 5x above normal to almost immeasurable... hovering barely above zero!! I could tell the endo wasn't expecting that & definitely not so suddenly. I was to have a blood draw at my regular doc's instead of driving to Lexington to the edno's office, and the results sent to him two weeks after the treatment. They called & wanted me up there pronto once they got those results & instead of the usual month or more before going on thyroid replacement meds, I was on them in two weeks. And a high dose of them, too.
Even now, if I have to go to a different pharmacy than my usual one (where my sweet cousin is the druggist!) they always question my dosage of thyroid. It's more than double what is considered "normal". *sigh* Yeah, so ... I dunno if the endo over-dosed me with the radioiodine or if my body just really needed more thyroid than most, but anyhow, now I have a very sluggish metabolism and missing my thyroid meds is NOT a good thing. I know that's just added to my lethargy but if I don't take that by noon, I am not supposed to take it. It is affected by dosage timing, so... if I miss that rather large window of opportunity, I just miss out for the day. I know, I KNOW... alarm clock. But see, you act as though you're talking to a practical, functional person... and when I'm this deep in a depression...you're just NOT, okay?
So, yeah, I had been up and sorta going while it was still morning the last few days. I've worked on a project I have coming up for our Emmaus Community. I even went to a reunion group meeting last Thursday. And do you know, I mean THIS is how good God is, there were two ladies there that I hadn't met before. One of them sat right across the table from me. And when I shared that my biggest struggle was & had been this debilitating depression, SHE TOUCHED MY ARM & SAID, "I've been going through the same thing. I know exactly what you're talking about." And she really did, too. We talked a little more about how destructive depression can be and how hard it is to 'make it' make sense to someone who's never experienced it.
See how God looks after me? :) He's awesome like that and I really needed the reminder that He's always there for me.
Today, I got out of the house and ran around Lexington with my hubby and kids. We did not one single solitary thing that could possibly be construed as constructive or productive. But it was good for me. I walked and walked around in the mall with Melissa. I enjoyed good meals with her, Tommy, both my sons and one "adopted" son, a friend of theirs from church. I laughed my head off at their snowball fights in restaurant parking lots and monkey calls in the middle of department stores.
I may not have accomplished a thing, but I feel blessed, and I feel hopeful. And folks, it's been way too long since I felt a glimmer of hope.
Life is good, just like the God Who gives it.
Blessings...
I don't quite know what to do with myself. But I do want to say THANK YOU for the wonderful, encouraging comments. You don't know how much they've done for me. :)
Back on the topic of depression... the last couple of days, I've been able to get up several hours earlier. That's a step in the right direction. I wasn't this specific before, but I have been sleeping like 14-18 hours, y'all. Yeah, HOURS. I just could NOT make myself get out of bed, other than slogging through the room to let Tucker in and out, and a trip to the bathroom, I was sacked out sleeping like a dead woman. Totally zonked and just UNable to make myself wake up.
Of course that meant I was also missing my morning meds, which includes a huge dose of thyroid (duh, the metabolism regulating hormone?!) I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease back in 1999, and since my heart rate was near 190, I was immediately put on beta blockers, had to stop breastfeeding my baby (my second & last child) and was sent to an endocrinologist for further treatment of the Grave's. The nurses there kept telling me how much better I was going to feel once they got this under control. I'd quit feeling SO tired and stop being perpetually "too hot" & sweating ALL the time and I'd have SO much MORE energy.
Yeah. Whatever. It didn't happen like that AT ALL!! The endo decided a radioactive iodine treatment, or I-131, was the best way to go. Sounds creepy, I know and I wish in the worst way that I'd had the wisdom to seek a second opinion back then, I was just SO eager to start feeling better!! I never gave it a thought and forged ahead.
ANYhow... after the I-131 treatment, my thyroid production was not decreased, but it CEASED. I mean, it went from about 5x above normal to almost immeasurable... hovering barely above zero!! I could tell the endo wasn't expecting that & definitely not so suddenly. I was to have a blood draw at my regular doc's instead of driving to Lexington to the edno's office, and the results sent to him two weeks after the treatment. They called & wanted me up there pronto once they got those results & instead of the usual month or more before going on thyroid replacement meds, I was on them in two weeks. And a high dose of them, too.
Even now, if I have to go to a different pharmacy than my usual one (where my sweet cousin is the druggist!) they always question my dosage of thyroid. It's more than double what is considered "normal". *sigh* Yeah, so ... I dunno if the endo over-dosed me with the radioiodine or if my body just really needed more thyroid than most, but anyhow, now I have a very sluggish metabolism and missing my thyroid meds is NOT a good thing. I know that's just added to my lethargy but if I don't take that by noon, I am not supposed to take it. It is affected by dosage timing, so... if I miss that rather large window of opportunity, I just miss out for the day. I know, I KNOW... alarm clock. But see, you act as though you're talking to a practical, functional person... and when I'm this deep in a depression...you're just NOT, okay?
So, yeah, I had been up and sorta going while it was still morning the last few days. I've worked on a project I have coming up for our Emmaus Community. I even went to a reunion group meeting last Thursday. And do you know, I mean THIS is how good God is, there were two ladies there that I hadn't met before. One of them sat right across the table from me. And when I shared that my biggest struggle was & had been this debilitating depression, SHE TOUCHED MY ARM & SAID, "I've been going through the same thing. I know exactly what you're talking about." And she really did, too. We talked a little more about how destructive depression can be and how hard it is to 'make it' make sense to someone who's never experienced it.
See how God looks after me? :) He's awesome like that and I really needed the reminder that He's always there for me.
Today, I got out of the house and ran around Lexington with my hubby and kids. We did not one single solitary thing that could possibly be construed as constructive or productive. But it was good for me. I walked and walked around in the mall with Melissa. I enjoyed good meals with her, Tommy, both my sons and one "adopted" son, a friend of theirs from church. I laughed my head off at their snowball fights in restaurant parking lots and monkey calls in the middle of department stores.
I may not have accomplished a thing, but I feel blessed, and I feel hopeful. And folks, it's been way too long since I felt a glimmer of hope.
Life is good, just like the God Who gives it.
Blessings...
Thursday, January 24, 2013
bump, rattle...
That's the sound my thoughts are making as they roll around my head. I've got so many of them up there, you'd think there would be no room. So either that means there's more space in my brain that I thought (of course, meaning my brain is bigger!) or maybe my thoughts are smaller than they seem to me?
*chuckle* It's scary the way my mind works sometimes...
I've been so sick the past few days. The day before Tommy was to leave for camp for the boys' Chrysalis, I felt it coming on. The sore throat, thumping headache.
"But maybe I can fight it off.."
Yeah, whatever. So Tommy going to serve at camp means he's gone for three days. Now there are special services almost each day, so I will normally go down there if we can afford the gas, that is.
We had three boys who were going to be attending the weekend. Boys that we've watched grow up in some cases, through the church. Boys who have taken to calling me Mama & Tommy Dad. So he was thrilled to be able to serve this weekend.
Not only that, but both our sons were also serving down there. One on the music team and one in a support team. So we had two generations serving... but then they needed another person for prayer team and asked Tommy's dad to serve. Wow... three generations serving on this one Chrysalis and there were seven other father-son/s "sets" serving.
What an awesome legacy! And what an amazing weekend it was. The precious testimonies of those boys was such a blessing! I'm excited to see what God's going to accomplish through them.
So I spent the weekend trying to fight off the inevitable bronchitis. I barely slept for coughing and trying to breathe. I made a batch of soup for a family who's father had surgery and went with another lady to take that out to them. That was Friday, the night Tommy left. Then Saturday, I left around 7am to get to the send-off ceremony at camp, taking a bowl of "Dirt Cake" that one of our boys requested. By Saturday night, I was quite a bit sicker & called in to our children's services coordinator at church to say I couldn't serve the next day. Then I got a text from camp saying the cake was all gone & the boys were clamouring for more. I hoped maybe my daughter-in-law could pick up the ingredients and bring to me after church the next day, but she had to take her siblings back home in a neighboring county, which would have made it too late to make the cake.
*sigh* So I dragged myself to the local grocery store, which is always higher so I seldom shop there. I realized once I was at the checkout that my debit card was at home, so I had to run back outside to get my checkbook. As I gathered my bags to leave, I could have sworn I stuck the checkbook in my coat pocket, but as I was struggling to get the door unlocked at home, the phone rang. It was someone from the store saying I'd left the checkbook. *siiiigh*
I dropped the bags inside the house & went straight back to the store, hurried back home to put the 'cake' together, then got in a hot tub to sweat awhile, took some more Alka Seltzer & got dressed to head to special service at camp & of course, deliver the requested food stuffs. ;)
By Monday morning I was feeling horrible.
Since I already had a check-up appointment scheduled for Tuesday, I didn't even try to get in to see the doctor on Monday. I didn't want to spend the day sitting in the waiting room and I didn't want to risk pushing myself/time to get to camp for closing ceremony & picking up of my hubby.
So by the time I made it to the doc's office, it was confirmed that I did indeed have bronchitis and not only that... a double ear infection! Go, me!! Woo!
No wonder I felt horrific all weekend! I seriously don't know how I made it through. But then again... I DO know::
Isaiah 41:10---"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
*chuckle* It's scary the way my mind works sometimes...
I've been so sick the past few days. The day before Tommy was to leave for camp for the boys' Chrysalis, I felt it coming on. The sore throat, thumping headache.
"But maybe I can fight it off.."
Yeah, whatever. So Tommy going to serve at camp means he's gone for three days. Now there are special services almost each day, so I will normally go down there if we can afford the gas, that is.
We had three boys who were going to be attending the weekend. Boys that we've watched grow up in some cases, through the church. Boys who have taken to calling me Mama & Tommy Dad. So he was thrilled to be able to serve this weekend.
Not only that, but both our sons were also serving down there. One on the music team and one in a support team. So we had two generations serving... but then they needed another person for prayer team and asked Tommy's dad to serve. Wow... three generations serving on this one Chrysalis and there were seven other father-son/s "sets" serving.
What an awesome legacy! And what an amazing weekend it was. The precious testimonies of those boys was such a blessing! I'm excited to see what God's going to accomplish through them.
So I spent the weekend trying to fight off the inevitable bronchitis. I barely slept for coughing and trying to breathe. I made a batch of soup for a family who's father had surgery and went with another lady to take that out to them. That was Friday, the night Tommy left. Then Saturday, I left around 7am to get to the send-off ceremony at camp, taking a bowl of "Dirt Cake" that one of our boys requested. By Saturday night, I was quite a bit sicker & called in to our children's services coordinator at church to say I couldn't serve the next day. Then I got a text from camp saying the cake was all gone & the boys were clamouring for more. I hoped maybe my daughter-in-law could pick up the ingredients and bring to me after church the next day, but she had to take her siblings back home in a neighboring county, which would have made it too late to make the cake.
*sigh* So I dragged myself to the local grocery store, which is always higher so I seldom shop there. I realized once I was at the checkout that my debit card was at home, so I had to run back outside to get my checkbook. As I gathered my bags to leave, I could have sworn I stuck the checkbook in my coat pocket, but as I was struggling to get the door unlocked at home, the phone rang. It was someone from the store saying I'd left the checkbook. *siiiigh*
I dropped the bags inside the house & went straight back to the store, hurried back home to put the 'cake' together, then got in a hot tub to sweat awhile, took some more Alka Seltzer & got dressed to head to special service at camp & of course, deliver the requested food stuffs. ;)
By Monday morning I was feeling horrible.
Since I already had a check-up appointment scheduled for Tuesday, I didn't even try to get in to see the doctor on Monday. I didn't want to spend the day sitting in the waiting room and I didn't want to risk pushing myself/time to get to camp for closing ceremony & picking up of my hubby.
So by the time I made it to the doc's office, it was confirmed that I did indeed have bronchitis and not only that... a double ear infection! Go, me!! Woo!
No wonder I felt horrific all weekend! I seriously don't know how I made it through. But then again... I DO know::
Isaiah 41:10---"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Monday, January 14, 2013
encouragement...
Almost 2 years ago, my husband & I joined what a lot of people around here refer to as a mega-church. We'd thought it was that ourselves, til we went. We ended up there because 1) we were running late one Sunday morning and 2) we'd watched some of the sermons online and were intrigued & surprised to find that the messages from a church that big were entirely Biblical and doctrinally sound. So, what was a place to go in a pinch became our new church home. It was like God picked us up with two fingers & plopped us down there, just exactly where He wanted us.
We got to know the pastor and many people on staff. We became active in serving in several of the church's many ministries and several months ago, we found ourselves the newly appointed leaders of our Community Group!
I tell people we "accidentally" ended up there, but I know that God doesn't do accidents, or maybe He just makes use of them for His purposes. :)
The former leader wasn't at the first couple of meetings after summer break, which left just us and two other couples who had joined the church around the same time we had. We continued on with the meetings because, well, we enjoy them so much and those two "leaderless" meetings found us with new folks in attendance.
So I sent an email to a couple different staff members asking what was up and letting them know what had been going on. I received back a note saying basically, "Great! We put you and Tommy down as this group's leaders! Thanks for serving!" LOL! My first thought was that the other two "core" couples would think we'd angled for the position and my husband's first thought was, "Oh, no! I can't do that!"
We prayed about it, we talked to the other couples so they knew what had happened...and at last, God gave Tommy a peace about it.
Then last night, He gave us both an encouraging situation to, I feel, let us know we're right where He wants us.
We had one new fella show up. His wife had to work, and so he was on his own, which was fine. We have some "singles" in our group from time to time. The church encourages people to go to several different groups to see where they feel most comfortable.
Our group is amazing. As I said, there are us three couples who make up the core, who all serve in the church's First Touch ministry (greeting, parking, seating, etc... no one feels unwelcome at our church!) and we're pretty much always there when something's going on at the church. All that to say, we're a very chatty group, everyone participates in the discussion. I think that has always made new folks feel at ease to share with us, even though most of the time, they don't come back, for whatever reason... sometimes it's just that they are not consistent.
So anyway, after everyone, and I mean EVERYone.. even the custodian, had left last night, Tommy and I continued to talk with this gentleman. He'd opened up about his biggest sin-struggle and shared that it had caused hurt in this, his second marriage. We also found out that he had attended our former church, so we had that in common, along with having close friends who still attend there.
But we continued to talk, and he continued to open up about his life. We encouraged each other. He's working to redeem himself in his wife's eyes. That's a hard thing to tell ANYone, but he felt comfortable telling us. We stood outside the church, huddled under an overhang because it was raining and talked for almost an hour.
It was a real blessing to us.
What was?-- you might ask. Being an encouragement to someone, having someone feel comfortable enough to confide in us, to ask us to pray for them. It was a great blessing. And it was more confirmation that we're where God wants us.
That's what we want more than anything. To be exactly where God wants us. Sometimes that's hard to determine so it's just beautiful when God gives you a sign that you're on the right path. :)
Do we feel at a loss sometimes? You bet we do!! Do we feel we haven't or can't do what we need to or be what we need to be? Yes! Being where God wants you doesn't make you perfect. It just makes you feel safe... even when the sky seems to be falling around you.
He's awesome that way.
God bless you big time!!
We got to know the pastor and many people on staff. We became active in serving in several of the church's many ministries and several months ago, we found ourselves the newly appointed leaders of our Community Group!
I tell people we "accidentally" ended up there, but I know that God doesn't do accidents, or maybe He just makes use of them for His purposes. :)
The former leader wasn't at the first couple of meetings after summer break, which left just us and two other couples who had joined the church around the same time we had. We continued on with the meetings because, well, we enjoy them so much and those two "leaderless" meetings found us with new folks in attendance.
So I sent an email to a couple different staff members asking what was up and letting them know what had been going on. I received back a note saying basically, "Great! We put you and Tommy down as this group's leaders! Thanks for serving!" LOL! My first thought was that the other two "core" couples would think we'd angled for the position and my husband's first thought was, "Oh, no! I can't do that!"
We prayed about it, we talked to the other couples so they knew what had happened...and at last, God gave Tommy a peace about it.
Then last night, He gave us both an encouraging situation to, I feel, let us know we're right where He wants us.
We had one new fella show up. His wife had to work, and so he was on his own, which was fine. We have some "singles" in our group from time to time. The church encourages people to go to several different groups to see where they feel most comfortable.
Our group is amazing. As I said, there are us three couples who make up the core, who all serve in the church's First Touch ministry (greeting, parking, seating, etc... no one feels unwelcome at our church!) and we're pretty much always there when something's going on at the church. All that to say, we're a very chatty group, everyone participates in the discussion. I think that has always made new folks feel at ease to share with us, even though most of the time, they don't come back, for whatever reason... sometimes it's just that they are not consistent.
So anyway, after everyone, and I mean EVERYone.. even the custodian, had left last night, Tommy and I continued to talk with this gentleman. He'd opened up about his biggest sin-struggle and shared that it had caused hurt in this, his second marriage. We also found out that he had attended our former church, so we had that in common, along with having close friends who still attend there.
But we continued to talk, and he continued to open up about his life. We encouraged each other. He's working to redeem himself in his wife's eyes. That's a hard thing to tell ANYone, but he felt comfortable telling us. We stood outside the church, huddled under an overhang because it was raining and talked for almost an hour.
It was a real blessing to us.
What was?-- you might ask. Being an encouragement to someone, having someone feel comfortable enough to confide in us, to ask us to pray for them. It was a great blessing. And it was more confirmation that we're where God wants us.
That's what we want more than anything. To be exactly where God wants us. Sometimes that's hard to determine so it's just beautiful when God gives you a sign that you're on the right path. :)
Do we feel at a loss sometimes? You bet we do!! Do we feel we haven't or can't do what we need to or be what we need to be? Yes! Being where God wants you doesn't make you perfect. It just makes you feel safe... even when the sky seems to be falling around you.
He's awesome that way.
God bless you big time!!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wow! Just.... WOW!!
So... it's been awhile, huh Blog? Well, I'm sorry. You know how it is.. life gets crazy, my mood gets down & I don't feel like writing anything. But maybe that's all over.
Sunday evening, two days ago, I got back from my Walk to Emmaus. It was an amazing, wonderful experience that every Christian should have. The instruction is so clear, the love almost palpable, the kinship so precious, the worship so alive... I have made some of the dearest friends who I can't wait to get to know even better because, even in such a short time, I love them so much! And the super thing is?? They love me too. :)
Yesterday was my first "4th Day" and I failed to get my Bible reading and prayers in. :( I was so disappointed in myself. This morning, I was determined to do it, and boy, does God ever bless our efforts in this!! I decided that I would make it as solemn and 'special' as I could, so I have the candle that my sweet hubby bought for me the other day.. for no reason at all. It is one of those glade candles that smell SO good... you should get one because it can help set the 'mood' if you will, for digging into The Word and talking to God. I also got myself a nice new notebook, a good pen, some highlighters, my Bible of course, and yeah, the reading glasses. :)
I used my worship booklet from The Walk and read the prayer in the front out loud. I also used the prayer for the Holy Spirit in the back because it really does help you call on Jesus for support and fulfillment in your studies. The amazing thing is that after praying, I just blindly opened my Bible and found Proverbs 12 waiting on me.
Seriously! Was that not THE PERFECT chapter for me today!! From verse one, it was smacking me right between the eyes... "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid." then in very 3 No one is established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous will never be moved." ..verse 4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones."
It just went on and on, with the themes I needed so desperately to "hear". Thank You, Lord Jesus!! :)
You know, last night Tommy called his cousin Liz. She'd called me during my Walk, and I hadn't called her back. When Tommy got on FB, she popped up a chat box, so he called her. He filled her in on all the details with Casey's four-wheeler accident, telling him how wonderfully he'd healed and how God was there every. step. of. the. way. And his eyes teared up and his voice cracked as he just bragged on Jesus in a way I'd never EVER seen him do before.
What a blessing!! And what an answer to a long-time (though on-again/off-again) prayer that he would become a more Godly husband and the true spiritual leader of our family. PRAISE GOD!!
So the Walk to Emmaus... what is it, you may be asking.. I can't tell you. *hee hee* Seriously. Not because I don't want to or am not supposed to, but it's something that you can't explain. Words don't describe how wonderful it is. You have to experience it for yourself and if you haven't been, you should and if you ever get the opportunity to go? Do NOT let anything keep you from it. It's truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience you should not miss. Check out the link, find out how to start your own journey to joy in the Lord!!
Blessings,
G~
Sunday evening, two days ago, I got back from my Walk to Emmaus. It was an amazing, wonderful experience that every Christian should have. The instruction is so clear, the love almost palpable, the kinship so precious, the worship so alive... I have made some of the dearest friends who I can't wait to get to know even better because, even in such a short time, I love them so much! And the super thing is?? They love me too. :)
Yesterday was my first "4th Day" and I failed to get my Bible reading and prayers in. :( I was so disappointed in myself. This morning, I was determined to do it, and boy, does God ever bless our efforts in this!! I decided that I would make it as solemn and 'special' as I could, so I have the candle that my sweet hubby bought for me the other day.. for no reason at all. It is one of those glade candles that smell SO good... you should get one because it can help set the 'mood' if you will, for digging into The Word and talking to God. I also got myself a nice new notebook, a good pen, some highlighters, my Bible of course, and yeah, the reading glasses. :)
I used my worship booklet from The Walk and read the prayer in the front out loud. I also used the prayer for the Holy Spirit in the back because it really does help you call on Jesus for support and fulfillment in your studies. The amazing thing is that after praying, I just blindly opened my Bible and found Proverbs 12 waiting on me.
Seriously! Was that not THE PERFECT chapter for me today!! From verse one, it was smacking me right between the eyes... "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid." then in very 3 No one is established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous will never be moved." ..verse 4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones."
It just went on and on, with the themes I needed so desperately to "hear". Thank You, Lord Jesus!! :)
You know, last night Tommy called his cousin Liz. She'd called me during my Walk, and I hadn't called her back. When Tommy got on FB, she popped up a chat box, so he called her. He filled her in on all the details with Casey's four-wheeler accident, telling him how wonderfully he'd healed and how God was there every. step. of. the. way. And his eyes teared up and his voice cracked as he just bragged on Jesus in a way I'd never EVER seen him do before.
What a blessing!! And what an answer to a long-time (though on-again/off-again) prayer that he would become a more Godly husband and the true spiritual leader of our family. PRAISE GOD!!
So the Walk to Emmaus... what is it, you may be asking.. I can't tell you. *hee hee* Seriously. Not because I don't want to or am not supposed to, but it's something that you can't explain. Words don't describe how wonderful it is. You have to experience it for yourself and if you haven't been, you should and if you ever get the opportunity to go? Do NOT let anything keep you from it. It's truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience you should not miss. Check out the link, find out how to start your own journey to joy in the Lord!!
Blessings,
G~
Monday, October 17, 2011
the hard things
Sometimes it's REALLY hard to do the things you need to or should do. Like for instance we have recently left the church we've belonged to for over 14 years. And this isn't the first time we've left there.
The first time was when Corey, our eldest, was about to graduate over into the "teen group" at church. The fella in charge of the teens at that time was a divorcee with small children. He was nice enough, but I had problems with the fact that they let him mentor the teenagers, besides the fact that they'd let him preach too. (See I Timothy 3:2 for the reasons why this is wrong) But beyond that, I knew because Tommy and I were game leaders and had interaction with all of the kids, that there had to be some problems with what the teens were being taught from the behavior we saw out of them. One girl had come up to Tommy and done this stretchy sort of "dance" in front of him! On several other occasions we heard two or three of the girls talking about another in a pointedly loud way so that she could hear. And none of what they said was nice.
Of course, all that stuff could be attributed to how they were being raised, so even though we weren't comfortable with the man, we hadn't decided to leave then. However, when I came out after youth classes one night and found one of the teen girls on this "preacher's" back, arms and legs wrapped around him?? Well, THAT was the deciding factor. We took it to two different deacons and prayed. When the deacons took it to the pastor, he blew it off, so we promptly left.
What followed was about two years of going to just about every baptist church in our county and several in other counties, a short stint in one church where we were taken advantage of and used and then another horrible few months where the church almost broke up our marriage. Yes, you read that right. Maybe I'll go into that sometime but I don't feel up to it right now. I'll just give you these: legalistic, judgmental, false doctrine.
So anyhow, we ended up going back to this church after all that turmoil and the divorced preacher was no longer there, but we never knew for sure if he left on his own or was finally put out. But anyhow, we've been back there for almost 10 years I guess, and things are still just "not right". And it's hard to leave because having a church home is like having a regular home! It's where you know people that care about you, help you with your problems, where you feel comfortable and can best worship and serve the Lord. But when there's something just "wrong" in the leadership, it makes the church "sick". When there are favored "cliques" in the church, when the preaching is no longer solely or consistently to honor God, but sometimes turns into a rant or some private tongue lashing for certain members... then the Lord is anything but glorified or honored.
Part of what we love about the church is that the old hymns are sung there. And we used to really love the preaching. Granted, I know the pastor is getting older and that probably has a little to do with the changes in his preaching, but the other, behind-the-scenes things we see out of him and his wife have nothing to do with age.
You see, Corey was kind of trained in how to run the media for the church... do the directing and editing for the services to be aired on tv. He loves that kind of stuff and has brought the program a long way from what it had been after the not-exactly-assistant pastor left. (long story, but they never called him as assistant pastor, but that's the capacity he worked in most of the time, other than he was given no authority. They really did treat him pretty bad once he announced that he was leaving, though) So now Corey is doing the entire media thing himself. The pastor, I guess, thought he'd keep Corey from asking for more money or equipment ?? but a man who had worked with the media at another church started coming and pastor asked him to sit in a see what Corey was doing. The man told him he was doing the work of about five people and he wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole!! Yeah... and for over three years now, my son has sat in a room directing church services. He hasn't participated in a worship service in all that time. The only time he and his wife have been able to attend church together is when they took off and went somewhere else. There's one other lady that used to work with that stuff back when there was MUCH less of it, and she fills in for him once in awhile when he has to be gone. But she can't edit and it's a lot more work for him to have to edit what she directs... Anyway, my big problem with all this is that not once has the leadership ever thought that maybe, just maybe Corey and the other KIDS who run the cameras might want to actually sit in a service instead of having to work through it. Trust me, it's not as simple as you'd think and it is in NO WAY the same as being there. There is NO WAY one can "get" what they need from a sermon when they're running a camera or directing. To my mind, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but seems that the leadership should be concerned enough about these people's spiritual needs enough to make sure there is somehow they can at least occasionally get fed. But they don't, they haven't and I can't see that changing any time soon.
And so we've left this very much old-fashioned church steeped in tradition and very set in the old ways. Not that we have ONE SINGLE THING against that. We don't and matter of fact, that's the reason we loved the church to begin with... it wasn't trying to be all modern and contemporary. But somewhere along the line the keeping with tradition has turned into more like being critically judgmental of anyone who isn't doing what pastor and the elect think they should. It's not quite as overt as that sounds, but the fact remains that this is exactly what's going on there.
I didn't plan for this to be about "what's wrong" with the church, but more about the huge difference and big change we've made. So, this new church? Well, it's grown from a church that's been around for quite a long while. They got a young pastor and suddenly the started just bursting at the seams... literally! They abandoned the original church house and started holding services in the convention center in town and finally built a new facility. But it's about as non-traditional and modern as you can get! However, it's not like most churches attempt this. I'll see if I can explain.
Most of the time when you find a church that's trying to be more contemporary, they're mainly trying to attract people. They will start doing different music, which none of the older people like usually. They'll come up with snazzy-sounding names for jazzed up programs for young people and they'll try to seem less "churchy". They totally lose focus of what the real issue is, and that's reaching the community for Jesus.
Somehow, this new church has totally reworked itself without seeming like "that kind" of church. They don't have a traditional altar with a pulpit. It's a stage, actually, with two huge screens on either side that show what the media ministry is recording. The pastor sits on a stool beside a small table. He has all his scripture projected onto a smaller screen that is rolled in beside him. His points are also put there. And recently, he's begun putting his sermon notes and scriptures on YouVersion so that you can use your phone or iPad to take notes and such. The music is anything but traditional. It's straight out of the Christian Pop/Rock genre, complete with drums, several electric guitars and keyboards. There are colored lights that sometimes move around and occasionally, they will use smoke, too. It's set up just like a concert. O.o There are no pews. Just rows of seats and the "auditorium" is quite dark during the song portion and only slightly lit during the sermon.
It is THE TOTAL OPPOSITE of the church we belong to. Do we like all these things? Not completely, no. I miss singing in the choir, I miss the traditional hymns. I miss Sunday School (the new church has two morning services and then "community groups", which is like SS, in the evening). But I DON'T miss leaving church feeling worse than when I came in and that's what's been happening at our old church.
The leadership, from the top down, has become very prideful, as best I can tell. There's no real love for people, no real concern for their needs. There are literally over 100 kids who regularly come to the youth program mid-week. There's no real budget for providing for the needs of that program. The man put in charge seems to be just the first one they could get to say yes, and he is the most ill-equipped man to deal with a bunch of rowdy, mostly-ADD-type kids. He has zero patience, by his actions and his own admission, and no love for those kids. Nobody wants to take responsibility for anything or take credit for it all, accordingly. It's just ridiculous and we just didn't feel like we could continue to support the situation.
Is this the church we want to permanently move to? I don't think so, but maybe. Right now, we're dealing with my parents, who also belong to the same church as us, feeling as if we've jumped ship. As if we've lost our minds and gone "radical", like we've abandoned the Bible or something. It hurts, especially when they don't know everything. We've been contacted by all of one person from church. A good friend of Tommy's and a deacon. He seemed maybe a little betrayed. At least that's how he came across. Other people on facebook have asked if we're okay, about three people, I think. Out of a congregation of over 300?
*sigh* It's just been a rough month. I just want to do what's pleasing to the Lord. I don't want to make a decision that's out of His will for us, or to hurt anyone's feelings, but something had to happen. We'd been hurting and worrying and being dissatisfied with how people were being treated. We had to make a change. Lord willing we'll have a clear answer as to what we're to do.
The first time was when Corey, our eldest, was about to graduate over into the "teen group" at church. The fella in charge of the teens at that time was a divorcee with small children. He was nice enough, but I had problems with the fact that they let him mentor the teenagers, besides the fact that they'd let him preach too. (See I Timothy 3:2 for the reasons why this is wrong) But beyond that, I knew because Tommy and I were game leaders and had interaction with all of the kids, that there had to be some problems with what the teens were being taught from the behavior we saw out of them. One girl had come up to Tommy and done this stretchy sort of "dance" in front of him! On several other occasions we heard two or three of the girls talking about another in a pointedly loud way so that she could hear. And none of what they said was nice.
Of course, all that stuff could be attributed to how they were being raised, so even though we weren't comfortable with the man, we hadn't decided to leave then. However, when I came out after youth classes one night and found one of the teen girls on this "preacher's" back, arms and legs wrapped around him?? Well, THAT was the deciding factor. We took it to two different deacons and prayed. When the deacons took it to the pastor, he blew it off, so we promptly left.
What followed was about two years of going to just about every baptist church in our county and several in other counties, a short stint in one church where we were taken advantage of and used and then another horrible few months where the church almost broke up our marriage. Yes, you read that right. Maybe I'll go into that sometime but I don't feel up to it right now. I'll just give you these: legalistic, judgmental, false doctrine.
So anyhow, we ended up going back to this church after all that turmoil and the divorced preacher was no longer there, but we never knew for sure if he left on his own or was finally put out. But anyhow, we've been back there for almost 10 years I guess, and things are still just "not right". And it's hard to leave because having a church home is like having a regular home! It's where you know people that care about you, help you with your problems, where you feel comfortable and can best worship and serve the Lord. But when there's something just "wrong" in the leadership, it makes the church "sick". When there are favored "cliques" in the church, when the preaching is no longer solely or consistently to honor God, but sometimes turns into a rant or some private tongue lashing for certain members... then the Lord is anything but glorified or honored.
Part of what we love about the church is that the old hymns are sung there. And we used to really love the preaching. Granted, I know the pastor is getting older and that probably has a little to do with the changes in his preaching, but the other, behind-the-scenes things we see out of him and his wife have nothing to do with age.
You see, Corey was kind of trained in how to run the media for the church... do the directing and editing for the services to be aired on tv. He loves that kind of stuff and has brought the program a long way from what it had been after the not-exactly-assistant pastor left. (long story, but they never called him as assistant pastor, but that's the capacity he worked in most of the time, other than he was given no authority. They really did treat him pretty bad once he announced that he was leaving, though) So now Corey is doing the entire media thing himself. The pastor, I guess, thought he'd keep Corey from asking for more money or equipment ?? but a man who had worked with the media at another church started coming and pastor asked him to sit in a see what Corey was doing. The man told him he was doing the work of about five people and he wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole!! Yeah... and for over three years now, my son has sat in a room directing church services. He hasn't participated in a worship service in all that time. The only time he and his wife have been able to attend church together is when they took off and went somewhere else. There's one other lady that used to work with that stuff back when there was MUCH less of it, and she fills in for him once in awhile when he has to be gone. But she can't edit and it's a lot more work for him to have to edit what she directs... Anyway, my big problem with all this is that not once has the leadership ever thought that maybe, just maybe Corey and the other KIDS who run the cameras might want to actually sit in a service instead of having to work through it. Trust me, it's not as simple as you'd think and it is in NO WAY the same as being there. There is NO WAY one can "get" what they need from a sermon when they're running a camera or directing. To my mind, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but seems that the leadership should be concerned enough about these people's spiritual needs enough to make sure there is somehow they can at least occasionally get fed. But they don't, they haven't and I can't see that changing any time soon.
And so we've left this very much old-fashioned church steeped in tradition and very set in the old ways. Not that we have ONE SINGLE THING against that. We don't and matter of fact, that's the reason we loved the church to begin with... it wasn't trying to be all modern and contemporary. But somewhere along the line the keeping with tradition has turned into more like being critically judgmental of anyone who isn't doing what pastor and the elect think they should. It's not quite as overt as that sounds, but the fact remains that this is exactly what's going on there.
I didn't plan for this to be about "what's wrong" with the church, but more about the huge difference and big change we've made. So, this new church? Well, it's grown from a church that's been around for quite a long while. They got a young pastor and suddenly the started just bursting at the seams... literally! They abandoned the original church house and started holding services in the convention center in town and finally built a new facility. But it's about as non-traditional and modern as you can get! However, it's not like most churches attempt this. I'll see if I can explain.
Most of the time when you find a church that's trying to be more contemporary, they're mainly trying to attract people. They will start doing different music, which none of the older people like usually. They'll come up with snazzy-sounding names for jazzed up programs for young people and they'll try to seem less "churchy". They totally lose focus of what the real issue is, and that's reaching the community for Jesus.
Somehow, this new church has totally reworked itself without seeming like "that kind" of church. They don't have a traditional altar with a pulpit. It's a stage, actually, with two huge screens on either side that show what the media ministry is recording. The pastor sits on a stool beside a small table. He has all his scripture projected onto a smaller screen that is rolled in beside him. His points are also put there. And recently, he's begun putting his sermon notes and scriptures on YouVersion so that you can use your phone or iPad to take notes and such. The music is anything but traditional. It's straight out of the Christian Pop/Rock genre, complete with drums, several electric guitars and keyboards. There are colored lights that sometimes move around and occasionally, they will use smoke, too. It's set up just like a concert. O.o There are no pews. Just rows of seats and the "auditorium" is quite dark during the song portion and only slightly lit during the sermon.
It is THE TOTAL OPPOSITE of the church we belong to. Do we like all these things? Not completely, no. I miss singing in the choir, I miss the traditional hymns. I miss Sunday School (the new church has two morning services and then "community groups", which is like SS, in the evening). But I DON'T miss leaving church feeling worse than when I came in and that's what's been happening at our old church.
The leadership, from the top down, has become very prideful, as best I can tell. There's no real love for people, no real concern for their needs. There are literally over 100 kids who regularly come to the youth program mid-week. There's no real budget for providing for the needs of that program. The man put in charge seems to be just the first one they could get to say yes, and he is the most ill-equipped man to deal with a bunch of rowdy, mostly-ADD-type kids. He has zero patience, by his actions and his own admission, and no love for those kids. Nobody wants to take responsibility for anything or take credit for it all, accordingly. It's just ridiculous and we just didn't feel like we could continue to support the situation.
Is this the church we want to permanently move to? I don't think so, but maybe. Right now, we're dealing with my parents, who also belong to the same church as us, feeling as if we've jumped ship. As if we've lost our minds and gone "radical", like we've abandoned the Bible or something. It hurts, especially when they don't know everything. We've been contacted by all of one person from church. A good friend of Tommy's and a deacon. He seemed maybe a little betrayed. At least that's how he came across. Other people on facebook have asked if we're okay, about three people, I think. Out of a congregation of over 300?
*sigh* It's just been a rough month. I just want to do what's pleasing to the Lord. I don't want to make a decision that's out of His will for us, or to hurt anyone's feelings, but something had to happen. We'd been hurting and worrying and being dissatisfied with how people were being treated. We had to make a change. Lord willing we'll have a clear answer as to what we're to do.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
hmm... dunno what I think of this...
... but I'm determined to find out if this could possibly be ANYthing of God:
I don't think I agree with the idea that God would subject anyone to hell, but then there was the rich man who went to hell, then asked that Lazarus, a beggar who'd died and gone to heaven, be allowed to give him a drop of water and go tell his family not to come there. (Luke 16:19-31) But Lazarus didn't GO INTO hell, he just was able to look into it. AND Lazarus was already dead himself, so I'm just not sure I believe this fella. Jesus told us in His Word that He'll never leave or forsake us... and I guess this man wasn't "left" in hell. Hmm... see? I can't make up my mind whether I think this is true or not.
Gotta keep reading & studying on this one. Not that it matters whether or not this man is telling the truth, but it does make me wonder if God would truly do something like this and does this line up with what the Bible says of God?
Wanna discuss it?
Blessings,
G~
I don't think I agree with the idea that God would subject anyone to hell, but then there was the rich man who went to hell, then asked that Lazarus, a beggar who'd died and gone to heaven, be allowed to give him a drop of water and go tell his family not to come there. (Luke 16:19-31) But Lazarus didn't GO INTO hell, he just was able to look into it. AND Lazarus was already dead himself, so I'm just not sure I believe this fella. Jesus told us in His Word that He'll never leave or forsake us... and I guess this man wasn't "left" in hell. Hmm... see? I can't make up my mind whether I think this is true or not.
Gotta keep reading & studying on this one. Not that it matters whether or not this man is telling the truth, but it does make me wonder if God would truly do something like this and does this line up with what the Bible says of God?
Wanna discuss it?
Blessings,
G~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)