I don't recall right now exactly how much I've posted here about our move almost a year ago from a very traditional church to the one we now attend. I remember it was hard. All our children and my parents went there too. Still go there, matter of fact. My dad's a deacon there.
But we felt a distinct urging to leave. So we did. And it wasn't very pretty. Dad didn't really speak to me for almost a month. It was a rough time. However, things are good now. Dad slowly realized we had not "forsaken" our Christianity or whatever. We hadn't even left "our" denomination. Just traded in what to us was discouraging church for one that was so alive and totally focused on Jesus and people.
So anyway, now we have some friends who are going through the same thing. They've been coming to our church for a few weeks and not their families, but their church is responding in such an ugly way!! It breaks my heart to see my friends going through this. From being hung up on by the pastor to having someone come by their house and taking the church van without so much as a by-your-leave.
How sad to see a church, of all people, reacting this way. Don't they see it's not about them?? Can't they realize that sometimes God calls us to other places and other duties?
*sigh*
So, in other news, Tommy's been gone since Friday morning. He is serving on a REC (Residents Encounter Christ - an Emmaus style weekend for those who are incarcerated) at a prison. I'm so anxious to see him this evening and hear how it all went.
I have been asked to serve on the next Women's Walk at the camp in a few weeks. I wanted to let the lay director know that while I was back up and walking, I wasn't nearly at 100% with my foot and needed to be put somewhere I wouldn't be on them so much.
Then I found out I had been assigned to the kitchen! Egads! I couldn't believe it since I had emailed to let her know, and THEN at the first organizational meeting, she gets up and says that she'd had to turn people away from helping and she'd prayed about where to put people. I felt HORRIBLE for saying anything about not wanting to serve in the kitchen because of my foot. But... *sigh*... I did.
While the skin graft has taken and the foot is healing well, it's still extremely tender. I've accidentally touched it with one of those foot sanding blocks and it bled like crazy. I can't imagine having my feet swell up like they usually do if I'm on them for extended periods. I just didn't want to risk that. So, I spoke with the LD and she ended up telling me she didn't really have another spot for me, but maybe I could tag-team with someone else on the prayer team "or something".
*siiigh* I really hate feeling like someone's having to make a job for me to do. Hate feeling like I'm not pulling my weight. Hate feeling awkwardly out of place...
Once I got home, I emailed the LD, telling her I really appreciated her calling me and I hated that I could not serve where she needed me, but if she had folks who'd volunteered but she'd had to turn down, that I'd be thrilled if she would allow them to serve in my place. I said that I didn't want her having to create something for me to do when she had people who were willing and able to serve. I told her she would not hurt my feelings one bit if she did that and that I hoped to work with her sometime in the future.
I didn't think anything of it when I got no reply since I hadn't the first time either & knowing she's so busy! I figured I'd just go to the next meeting if I hadn't heard from her and see what she had to say then. But then I got a phone call.
It was the LD saying she really appreciated my email, appreciated that I was willing to step down and give my spot to someone else. She said most people wouldn't have done that and she appreciated the offer. ...but she didn't want to accept it. She said she needed people with a heart for service (aw!) and a willing spirit and there always ended up being a job with no worker and she wanted me on her team.
Wow. If that wasn't a confirmation for me to be on this walk, I don't know what is!! I seriously never had any of those thoughts about myself. I'm a pretty selfish person, matter of fact. And I do hate feeling as if I'm being a drain on a team if I can't do what's needed of me. I feel like such a louse for ever saying, "Well, I DO have diabetes, so I might have a problem doing this or that" so I usually don't say it. I mean, do you realize how lame that sounds when you say it out loud? I DO usually tell people because it sounds much lamer when you're in the middle of a low blood sugar and you can't even talk properly or you don't realize you're having a low til you're in the middle of some important task. Then of course, you can't finish said task OR tell anyone why.
*sigh* Have I mentioned that diabetes kinda sucks? Oh... well, never mind then.
Anyway, I love being able to serve on these walks, but I feel so inadequate in so many ways. Spiritually, physically.... I'm just thankful God doesn't call the equipped but He equips the called.
Hallelujah!
No comments:
Post a Comment