i really suck at this...

...blogging stuff. And mind you, now, I used to just LOVE it & kept a very active blog for several years! I seriously believe that the diabetes has played havoc with my brain function.

And speaking of that minimal amount of activity in my life, I started seeing a new doctor back in February. He's actually a chiropractor in Somerset who treats the body as a whole and not just a bunch of unconnected parts that each need their own specialist & have nothing to do with each other.

The results? Well, I've found out that I'm gluten sensitive. That my adrenal glands are shot (& this is about 3 years after there was a hint of this found out in the hospital) I've been put on an extremely strict diet which whittled my allowable foods down to basically water & air.

Heh... well, I can have a LITTLE more than that, but not much. Sheesh! He has me off sugar (duh!) but TOTALLY.. even if I bolus for it, it's still a no-no! Not only that, but no artificial sweeteners!! Talk about hitting where it hurts! And of course, no gluten, which means no bread, no pasta, no crackers!!! And not just that, but he doesn't want me to eat many commercial gluten-free foods either! No caffeine, which really sucked since I'd gone to black coffee to stay away from my beloved vanilla creamer. Very low fat, which also eliminates peanut butter, which I was using to deal w/the no-gluten deal at first... GAH!! I haven't had anything but water to drink since the first of March!! AAAHHH!!!

It was really REALLY tough at first, and still is at times, but now it's not as bad. I've lost quite a bit. Not sure how much exactly since they haven't weighed me again yet. But my pants are lots looser and I'm ready to graduate to a smaller size belt. I've also gone down a size in shirts.

Besides the dietary changes, I have to try & allow my adrenal glands to rebuild themselves, which usually happens in the early a.m. which is when my level is almost rock-bottom, but should be highest of the day! THAT means sleeping in!! YAY!! I'm not sure how I'll handle that when I'm working an Emmaus Walk, but I'll worry about that later.

I'm just glad to see some results. I can't wait til I actually feel better. It hasn't happened yet, but with the severity of adrenal fatigue I have, it can take anywhere from six months to two years to rebuild the glands back to the proper state. *sigh* I hope it doesn't take THAT long, though!!!

Hope to write more again soon.

Blessings & Happy Resurrection Day!

thankful...

Y'know, my family in general is pretty dysfunctional. Of course, most of us feel that way, I realize.

My family's dysfunction is mainly just bickering. And not always "actual" disagreement or backbiting. It's kinda the way we communicate. My husband was so put off by this the first few times he encountered it, and then it took a long time before he ever gave voice to it. It just really bothered him to hear my parents pick at each other the way they do. Even though they've never really 'fought' the way you think of most couples fighting.

So today's Thanksgiving. How many, MANY things we have to be thankful for! In spite of the health issues my sister and I both have, and Mom's more recent dwindling health, we are all pretty healthy. For having had seizures since she was three, my sister does very well. For having had diabetes for going on 40 years now, I am in quite good health when compared to a lot of other people in the same situation. My mother's dwindling health is most likely from her pushing herself so hard for so many years and the fact that she's getting older now.

My eldest, Corey, and his wife, married going on four years now, are doing so well. They love each other more than ever, if that's even possible. *smile* Our youngest, Casey, had a serious accident on our four-wheeler about 2 weeks ago and now, unbelievably, is almost healed! He could have been hurt SO much worse than he was or killed given that the vehicle rolled over on his face and head. But God's been with him and with us every. step. of the. way.

SO much to be thankful for.

And today, it seemed that even though during the time I was at Mom and Dad's this morning, making the dumplings, and they were at each other same as always... by dinner time, there was a different attitude between them and there was none of the usual bickering.

God's good, people. God is so extremely good.

Hope you've all had a wonderful Thanksgiving as well.

God bless you!
G~

God is bigger than bad news...

Found out today that Melissa's grandmother, Karen's cancer is back. She is in the Cancer Center at UK tonight. I haven't heard yet what options she might have as for treatment, but they know the cancer is aggressive.

Please keep Karen in your prayers. Remember her doctors, her husband Bill, her children and all of us who try to minister to them and help them through whatever lies ahead. I know God is bigger than this, He's the Creator of all life and therefore can heal all sickness. If He grants healing to Karen, praise His name! If He sees fit to give Karen the ultimate healing and take her home to glory where there is no more sickness or pain of any kind then praise His name. I pray that her family will lean on Him for all they need and will give Him the glory for all.

Blessings,
G~

Wow! Just.... WOW!!

So... it's been awhile, huh Blog? Well, I'm sorry. You know how it is.. life gets crazy, my mood gets down & I don't feel like writing anything. But maybe that's all over.


Sunday evening, two days ago, I got back from my Walk to Emmaus. It was an amazing, wonderful experience that every Christian should have. The instruction is so clear, the love almost palpable, the kinship so precious, the worship so alive... I have made some of the dearest friends who I can't wait to get to know even better because, even in such a short time, I love them so much! And the super thing is?? They love me too. :)

Yesterday was my first "4th Day" and I failed to get my Bible reading and prayers in. :( I was so disappointed in myself. This morning, I was determined to do it, and boy, does God ever bless our efforts in this!! I decided that I would make it as solemn and 'special' as I could, so I have the candle that my sweet hubby bought for me the other day.. for no reason at all. It is one of those glade candles that smell SO good... you should get one because it can help set the 'mood' if you will, for digging into The Word and talking to God. I also got myself a nice new notebook, a good pen, some highlighters, my Bible of course, and yeah, the reading glasses. :)

I used my worship booklet from The Walk and read the prayer in the front out loud. I also used the prayer for the Holy Spirit in the back because it really does help you call on Jesus for support and fulfillment in your studies. The amazing thing is that after praying, I just blindly opened my Bible and found Proverbs 12 waiting on me.

Seriously! Was that not THE PERFECT chapter for me today!! From verse one, it was smacking me right between the eyes... "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid." then in very 3 No one is established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous will never be moved." ..verse 4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones."

It just went on and on, with the themes I needed so desperately to "hear". Thank You, Lord Jesus!! :)

You know, last night Tommy called his cousin Liz. She'd called me during my Walk, and I hadn't called her back. When Tommy got on FB, she popped up a chat box, so he called her. He filled her in on all the details with Casey's four-wheeler accident, telling him how wonderfully he'd healed and how God was there every. step. of. the. way. And his eyes teared up and his voice cracked as he just bragged on Jesus in a way I'd never EVER seen him do before.

What a blessing!! And what an answer to a long-time (though on-again/off-again) prayer that he would become a more Godly husband and the true spiritual leader of our family. PRAISE GOD!!

So the Walk to Emmaus... what is it, you may be asking.. I can't tell you. *hee hee* Seriously. Not because I don't want to or am not supposed to, but it's something that you can't explain. Words don't describe how wonderful it is. You have to experience it for yourself and if you haven't been, you should and if you ever get the opportunity to go? Do NOT let anything keep you from it. It's truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience you should not miss. Check out the link, find out how to start your own journey to joy in the Lord!!

Blessings,
G~

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Not so much HERE, but I'm trying. I had some fall colored template on here that is one of the standard issue from Blogger, but thought, as I'm thinking for the house too, once I finally can see the floor again, that I'd just go ahead & decorate for Christmas since between Thanksgiving and then it gets to be so hectic and this year it'll be doubly so! After thinking we'd forego our trip to the cabin this year, we have reserved a four bedroom in Gatlingburg for the first week of December. We started going in 2009 after talking it over with the rest of the family, in lieu of making several gatherings and exchanging gifts. We spend about a week at a cabin with grandparents and all, so it ends up being three generations together. Hopefully, the next trip we make, we'll have a fourth generation with us, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. ;) Last year somehow wasn't nearly as fun. My sister, who comes down on Mom and Dad's dime and sleeps in the main living area on a sleeper sofa, was pretty whiny/complaining last year. She must have got the hint from everyone avoiding her or else Mom told her she'd need to keep the griping to herself or stay home this year. Anyhow, we each chip in a portion, depending on how long we stay (Tommy and I and the kids all stay the entire week, while my parents and Tommy's split the week) and whether or not we have our own bedroom, so it makes it much more affordable. We mostly just hang out in the cabin, watching movies, playing games, cooking/eating and soaking in the hot tub. Last year, it snowed a LOT and was just gorgeous! Anyhow, since everyone but us and my sister will be in the process of moving, it's going to be chaotic before long, so we thought we'd need to just skip going to the cabin, but Casey pointed out that would be a big reason to go! To destress and relax some. So... we're going! Yay. Now to save up enough money to afford our part of the cabin, our part of the food and enough to go out to eat at least once and hopefully shop a little. *sigh* I don't know how that's gonna work out, but Lord willing, we'll be able to scratch up some extra for that. Gotta get... time for evening services! God bless... G~

the hard things

Sometimes it's REALLY hard to do the things you need to or should do. Like for instance we have recently left the church we've belonged to for over 14 years. And this isn't the first time we've left there.

The first time was when Corey, our eldest, was about to graduate over into the "teen group" at church. The fella in charge of the teens at that time was a divorcee with small children. He was nice enough, but I had problems with the fact that they let him mentor the teenagers, besides the fact that they'd let him preach too. (See I Timothy 3:2 for the reasons why this is wrong) But beyond that, I knew because Tommy and I were game leaders and had interaction with all of the kids, that there had to be some problems with what the teens were being taught from the behavior we saw out of them. One girl had come up to Tommy and done this stretchy sort of "dance" in front of him! On several other occasions we heard two or three of the girls talking about another in a pointedly loud way so that she could hear. And none of what they said was nice.

Of course, all that stuff could be attributed to how they were being raised, so even though we weren't comfortable with the man, we hadn't decided to leave then. However, when I came out after youth classes one night and found one of the teen girls on this "preacher's" back, arms and legs wrapped around him?? Well, THAT was the deciding factor. We took it to two different deacons and prayed. When the deacons took it to the pastor, he blew it off, so we promptly left.

What followed was about two years of going to just about every baptist church in our county and several in other counties, a short stint in one church where we were taken advantage of and used and then another horrible few months where the church almost broke up our marriage. Yes, you read that right. Maybe I'll go into that sometime but I don't feel up to it right now. I'll just give you these: legalistic, judgmental, false doctrine.

So anyhow, we ended up going back to this church after all that turmoil and the divorced preacher was no longer there, but we never knew for sure if he left on his own or was finally put out. But anyhow, we've been back there for almost 10 years I guess, and things are still just "not right". And it's hard to leave because having a church home is like having a regular home! It's where you know people that care about you, help you with your problems, where you feel comfortable and can best worship and serve the Lord. But when there's something just "wrong" in the leadership, it makes the church "sick". When there are favored "cliques" in the church, when the preaching is no longer solely or consistently to honor God, but sometimes turns into a rant or some private tongue lashing for certain members... then the Lord is anything but glorified or honored.

Part of what we love about the church is that the old hymns are sung there. And we used to really love the preaching. Granted, I know the pastor is getting older and that probably has a little to do with the changes in his preaching, but the other, behind-the-scenes things we see out of him and his wife have nothing to do with age.

You see, Corey was kind of trained in how to run the media for the church... do the directing and editing for the services to be aired on tv. He loves that kind of stuff and has brought the program a long way from what it had been after the not-exactly-assistant pastor left. (long story, but they never called him as assistant pastor, but that's the capacity he worked in most of the time, other than he was given no authority. They really did treat him pretty bad once he announced that he was leaving, though) So now Corey is doing the entire media thing himself. The pastor, I guess, thought he'd keep Corey from asking for more money or equipment ?? but a man who had worked with the media at another church started coming and pastor asked him to sit in a see what Corey was doing. The man told him he was doing the work of about five people and he wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole!! Yeah... and for over three years now, my son has sat in a room directing church services. He hasn't participated in a worship service in all that time. The only time he and his wife have been able to attend church together is when they took off and went somewhere else. There's one other lady that used to work with that stuff back when there was MUCH less of it, and she fills in for him once in awhile when he has to be gone. But she can't edit and it's a lot more work for him to have to edit what she directs... Anyway, my big problem with all this is that not once has the leadership ever thought that maybe, just maybe Corey and the other KIDS who run the cameras might want to actually sit in a service instead of having to work through it. Trust me, it's not as simple as you'd think and it is in NO WAY the same as being there. There is NO WAY one can "get" what they need from a sermon when they're running a camera or directing. To my mind, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but seems that the leadership should be concerned enough about these people's spiritual needs enough to make sure there is somehow they can at least occasionally get fed. But they don't, they haven't and I can't see that changing any time soon.

And so we've left this very much old-fashioned church steeped in tradition and very set in the old ways. Not that we have ONE SINGLE THING against that. We don't and matter of fact, that's the reason we loved the church to begin with... it wasn't trying to be all modern and contemporary. But somewhere along the line the keeping with tradition has turned into more like being critically judgmental of anyone who isn't doing what pastor and the elect think they should. It's not quite as overt as that sounds, but the fact remains that this is exactly what's going on there.

I didn't plan for this to be about "what's wrong" with the church, but more about the huge difference and big change we've made. So, this new church? Well, it's grown from a church that's been around for quite a long while. They got a young pastor and suddenly the started just bursting at the seams... literally! They abandoned the original church house and started holding services in the convention center in town and finally built a new facility. But it's about as non-traditional and modern as you can get! However, it's not like most churches attempt this. I'll see if I can explain.

Most of the time when you find a church that's trying to be more contemporary, they're mainly trying to attract people. They will start doing different music, which none of the older people like usually. They'll come up with snazzy-sounding names for jazzed up programs for young people and they'll try to seem less "churchy". They totally lose focus of what the real issue is, and that's reaching the community for Jesus.

Somehow, this new church has totally reworked itself without seeming like "that kind" of church. They don't have a traditional altar with a pulpit. It's a stage, actually, with two huge screens on either side that show what the media ministry is recording. The pastor sits on a stool beside a small table. He has all his scripture projected onto a smaller screen that is rolled in beside him. His points are also put there. And recently, he's begun putting his sermon notes and scriptures on YouVersion so that you can use your phone or iPad to take notes and such. The music is anything but traditional. It's straight out of the Christian Pop/Rock genre, complete with drums, several electric guitars and keyboards. There are colored lights that sometimes move around and occasionally, they will use smoke, too. It's set up just like a concert. O.o There are no pews. Just rows of seats and the "auditorium" is quite dark during the song portion and only slightly lit during the sermon.

It is THE TOTAL OPPOSITE of the church we belong to. Do we like all these things? Not completely, no. I miss singing in the choir, I miss the traditional hymns. I miss Sunday School (the new church has two morning services and then "community groups", which is like SS, in the evening). But I DON'T miss leaving church feeling worse than when I came in and that's what's been happening at our old church.

The leadership, from the top down, has become very prideful, as best I can tell. There's no real love for people, no real concern for their needs. There are literally over 100 kids who regularly come to the youth program mid-week. There's no real budget for providing for the needs of that program. The man put in charge seems to be just the first one they could get to say yes, and he is the most ill-equipped man to deal with a bunch of rowdy, mostly-ADD-type kids. He has zero patience, by his actions and his own admission, and no love for those kids. Nobody wants to take responsibility for anything or take credit for it all, accordingly. It's just ridiculous and we just didn't feel like we could continue to support the situation.

Is this the church we want to permanently move to? I don't think so, but maybe. Right now, we're dealing with my parents, who also belong to the same church as us, feeling as if we've jumped ship. As if we've lost our minds and gone "radical", like we've abandoned the Bible or something. It hurts, especially when they don't know everything. We've been contacted by all of one person from church. A good friend of Tommy's and a deacon. He seemed maybe a little betrayed. At least that's how he came across. Other people on facebook have asked if we're okay, about three people, I think. Out of a congregation of over 300?

*sigh* It's just been a rough month. I just want to do what's pleasing to the Lord. I don't want to make a decision that's out of His will for us, or to hurt anyone's feelings, but something had to happen. We'd been hurting and worrying and being dissatisfied with how people were being treated. We had to make a change. Lord willing we'll have a clear answer as to what we're to do.

a little scary...

It really IS scary when I think about how similar this whole ear infection thing is to when I developed SJS in '94. Y'see, I went back to have them rechecked on Friday and the infection isn't gone. So doc put me on another antibiotic and to NOT stop taking the first one, that had two days left to go. I think I was on antibiotic #4 when I went into shock and then into the ER and eventually spent the 2 weeks in the hospital with SJS. So I'm praying that this will cure it because there aren't a whole lot of other options for me, ya know? Gah! And I STILL haven't got my flu shot so I'm trying to steer clear of anyone who has symptoms if I can.

One thing IS better though... well, sort of... my sugars are staying in a better range now. The down side of that is that I've been having a lot of lows and that is NOT good. Seems like either they're just getting harder on me or my sugar had been running too high for long enough to make the lows "hit me" harder. They sure have been doing a number on me. Saturday I just KEPT staying low til that evening when it went over 400! GAH! That makes me SO MAD!!! >:( I hate when it does that.

But oh well... I just wanted to let you know how the check up went.

Blessings,
G~