new digs...

So *ahem* obviously, I kind of let things go here. *blush* I hate when I do things like this!

I was reading that last post & thought, "GEESH-O Woman! You should have been writing here a long time ago!" But alas, I stopped writing pretty much altogether.

What can I say? Life got BUSY!! "Our Girl", as I refer to her here, is now REALLY ours since she and Baby Son got married last summer, all the kids stay so busy & we stay really involved with church, Emmaus, and now cycling so it's like a madhouse around here most of the time and everyone comes & goes in a blur!

Things haven't been all butterflies and sunshine though. I went through a really, REALLY ugly patch last year. With my health, my emotions and spiritually too. That's why I created this blog, so I could try "writing through" it all.

And so, without further adieu, I give you the new & hopefully improved (at least more updated!) Society for the Preservation of My Sanity!

Come on over and visit. I'll be SO glad to "see" you again! :D

buried in a pile of blessings...

That's how I feel today.  I told you about being so happy that my baby son has found the girl who seems to literally complete him.  How much my husband and I love her already, how we can look back and see how God Himself placed her in our lives.  She feels like that missing piece in our puzzle.

Yesterday was an odd sort of Sunday.  For the past almost 6 weeks, Our Girl has been coming to church with us.  Baby Son joined the church last Sunday, which overjoyed us, of course.  It's been a hard couple of years worshipping & serving The Lord apart from our children.  But we see how God is using our First Baby Boy to minister to the youth in another church in his wife's hometown.  We are thankful that God didn't call him to a place far away from us because I'm not sure that this poor mama could have stood the pain of them leaving us & living so far away.  

But our Baby Son hadn't made up his mind yet where he wanted to make his church home.  The last church we all belonged to for many years, well, I think I talked about it in a previous post...  so I won't repeat it now, but needless to say, we were thrilled to be able to sit in a church service with one of our sons, and now, with his sweet girlfriend as well. 

So, yeah, we had this great early service, then Baby Son came with one of the young boys that spends a lot of time with the boys, came to the second service.  

I got involved in a conversation with a lady from our Emmaus community & found out she had a prayer need involving her husband who is a recovering alcoholic.  Then another lady, both of them were serving as greeters that day, from our Emmaus community came over, and the three of us talked for awhile, then the first lady decided she'd better go so her husband wouldn't think she was talking about him so the second lady and I talked for some time.  Hubby was outside talking to some other people.

This lady began to share about "randomly" (ha! nope, totally God's will!) being put in the path of a man she'd met before through the counsellor at our church.  This man was suicidal at that time, & this morning when our care pastor brought him to this lady, she recognized him.  She was asking for prayer for him.

Then, Hubby came back in looking for me, and this lady wanted to talk with him about the man and see if he had any ideas for getting the man involved with some other Godly men who would hold him accountable & check on him, etc.  We had a prayer for the man and (woo!! chill bumps!)  God just met with us and it was like we had another church service while in the auditorium, the second service was taking place.   :)

Hubby ended up getting to talk to the man, because we stayed and waited for second service to let out so we could talk to our son, too.  This particular Sunday, Our Girl had gone to her home church to try and get some resolution about where she should be attending church.  

Baby Son was planning to go with her, but one of the other boys who spends a lot of time with my kids got sick and called Baby Son to come get him... yes, instead of caling his parents, he called my son.  

What a great testimony to how my children are ministering to these kids.  So, Our Girl and Baby Son had gone to pick up this boy, they tended to him for some time before Our Girl left for home.  She will be an RN after her graduation this May, so it was so good she was there!

So back to our Sunday... our First Baby son was out of town with his wife for their FIFTH ANNIVERSARY!!!  Goodness, that seems like such a long time, but at the same time, not long at all.  So anyway, it was just me, Hubby, Baby Son & Our Girl and the boy who'd come to church that morning.  

We sat in Subway, eating our late supper after going to an amazing singing service at our church that evening... and we started talking... and the subject turned serious as it related to Baby Son & Our Girl...  when it got to the point where she and I were both about to cry, we decided to head home to finish our talk. 

We had let her know that, due to some thick tension in her family, that she was more than welcome to move in with us if she wanted. Or she was welcome to stay for a night or two, whatever she needed.  We were letting her know we meant it, we hadn't had second thoughts about it and how much she means to us... how much we view her as our own daughter.

She said while at Subway that she was working up the courage to tell us something, so that's when we headed home.  Once we got home, she proceeded to tell us how much she felt like a part of our family, how Hubby and I had filled a sort-of void she had for a close relationship with her parents & and we all talked about the future.  It was a great time and then the boy who had gotten sick came back...

The other boy, who had been with us at Subway, asked about hearing Our Girl's testimony, because she'd mentioned wanting to tell it to the boys because she felt it would help them or at least let them know that she knew what they were dealing with.

So, she and Baby Son drove back to his house, where she had left a hard copy of her testimony with him to read, and she came back up and read it in the firelight.  I had heard it before at Emmaus, but Hubby hadn't.  We all sat in silence as she stood on the other side of that firepit, with Baby Son's arm around her shoulders for support while he shined a light on the paper for her.  It was such a sweet time of fellowship and love.

I am just completely buried in this big pile of blessings and sometimes it makes me scared that something really bad is coming.  That there's no way my life can be this full of God's love without something in the future that will rob me of these blessings.  Or that maybe God is "blessing me up" before a time of struggle and trial.  

I honestly don't know, but I am not going to spend my time worrying about the future.  If I have learned nothing else during this time of God teaching me about what fear really is and that it should have no affect on me, I have learned to appreciate each and every blessing and not diminish the goodness of them by worrying about things that haven't happened yet, or may never happen at all.

How silly!   So, if you need to find me, look under that great big pile of God's love and behind this big doofusy grin.  I'll be there.

Blessings to you!

happy, happy, happy...

So okay, true confessions... I've never seen Duck Dynasty. Never watched an episode in my life. We don't have cable or satellite, just Netflix & Hulu, neither of which offer Duck Dynasty! However, I see tons of references to them on Facebook & have watched a lot of youtube videos of Phil or Willie or Jase preaching or giving a testimony.

And.. I have this t-shirt that is MORE than a few years old.. probably .. I dunno, 10 years, maybe? And it has this big lowercase "h" on it with the word "happy" underneath. So when I wear it, people wanna ask me why I messed the quote up because I've learned that someone on the show is in the habit of saying, "Happy, happy, happy!" *sigh* I'm sorry, I just can't be fashionable AND a tightwad, okay? LOL!

All that to say this:: I am really happy lately.

Why? Well, maybe I've just realized that God's way beyond good to me. As of right now, I have a double-ear infection (AGAIN!) and am waiting to be sent to a specialist to see what's up with that, and I've just agreed to go back on some antidepressants to see if that doesn't help with the fatigue & the just plain don't-want-to's I seem to have all the time.

And still, I have to say, I'm happy.

For one, God's been answering prayers around here. For me, for my husband, for my children... He's just been all over us lately and I'm SO grateful for all He's done and continues to do!!

This past Sunday, I got to hear my first baby boy preach his first sermon. How humbling!! How hard it was to listen & see him up there behind the pulpit, proclaiming the word of God & realize that THAT is my little blonde-haired snuggly bug!! But it is, and God's SO good. MmmMM!

And it is looking like God's answered my prayer for a Godly girl to come into my baby son's life. And the way He's done it is nothing short of amazing. He's showing Himself to me at every turn. I'll say something about it to a friend and then either my baby boy or my potential new daughter-in-love will say almost the exact thing back to me. LOL! It's just been a joy to be alive lately, watching God do His thang in and anround us.

I have to laugh at the "potential new DIL" comment... do any of you remember Dolly Partin's song, Potential New Boyfriend?? LOL! Go listen to it & laugh with me!! ROFL!!

But seriously, I met this girl through Emmaus and actually worked sorta with her on the last Young Adult Chrysalis and when she gave her talk, I heard her say something my sweet son had said... she was waiting for God to bring the right guy into her life.

My heart kinda jumped as I thought, "Oh my goodness?? Could this be a nudge from You, God?" It took about a month, but through another Emmaus friend, the bug was put in their ears about each other & their first time ever meeting each other was a canoe trip down the Rockcastle River.. in the rain.. with our whole family. LOL!

This little gal has the sweetest personality & she's so loving & generous with that love. She feels like my own daughter already. Matter of fact, she is very close to both my husband and me, and we told Baby Boy after the first week, "Son, if it doesn't work out for you two, we think you should know, we're keeping her anyway." LOL!

And so now, almost a month later, they are praying about whether this is the relationship He wanted for each of them, if they are to move forward with the goal of marriage sometime in the future. And all I can do is stand back and be amazed at how much pains God takes with the desires of our hearts, and how much He has to love us to take the time to deal so closely and so personally in such matters. Woo!! He is just SO GOOD!!

I am trying to be patient, trying to just wait, just hold on & see His work and His plan fulfill itself. I don't wanna mess any of it up by trying to hurry things along. I'm just so glad to see my boy happy and feeling complete for the first time & so happy to have such a dear friend filling that role.

Woo!!! Praise Jesus!! \0/

the truth about fear...

Wow... my life has been amazingly crazy the past several weeks. I've been busy with working Emmaus walks, I was asked last-minute to go to a REC for women (Residents Encounter Christ-a prison version of an Emmaus Walk) in Nashville.

I went on the very first women's REC at this same facility last year. I worked with the prayer team on the outside, though. I only went into the prison for two of the special services. This year, however, I worked as an assistant table leader! It was SUCH an amazing experience.

I was so torn about whether to go or not. Not because I was afraid to go inside, since I'd been there before, but because I was afraid of not being able to relate to the women or to give the right counsel to them.

Yes, I was in fear.

I have learned a lot about fear this past year.

I had a sobering encounter with how satan uses fear to control us. How he puts it in our paths to get us to shift our focus off Christ! I have come to realize that fear is NOT an emotion. When we express fear, it comes out as emotion, but the cause of this fear itself, is NOT an emotion. You see, when I was able to recognize fear as only a tool of satan, it has enabled me to slowly learn to rebuke it... to overcome it, to give it to Jesus to take care of while I go about my business doing whatever it is He wants me to do.

*BIG SMILE*

While working on the prayer team last year, so many things kept happening... the toilets quit working (talk about a distraction!), the inmates inside the prison were experiencing lots of different things--one was freed from a spiritual oppression/possession (I wasn't there, so I'm not sure which) and while we were talking and praying about these things on the outside, this loud banging noise started on the floor above us. It was very late and the prison team had just gone to bed and would have to get up very early, so one of the four ladies in the room went with me upstairs to see what was going on.

We assumed that it was some of the kids who had also been staying there, but when we got upstairs, there was no one to be found. We could still hear the noise, but it seemed to have moved to another location. The lady with me became very frightened. We decided to go back downstairs and once we reached the bottom step, the noise stopped. We ran into the college guy who was acting as host that week and asked him about it.

He told us he hadn't heard anything and that the kids who'd been there had left that evening.

....

We were stunned, and yes, fear ripped through me. I don't normally deal well with evil spiritual type stuff. The lady with me was so frightened and I didn't know til later that she was a fairly young Christian. My reaction, which was much calmer only because of Christ, made a big impression on her.

We went back into the prayer room where the other two ladies were waiting and told them what we'd found out. Soon, though, the noise started again. Somehow, the same lady and I went back upstairs, this time to get the spiritual leader of this REC to come pray with us.

He led us in the most, at least to me, calming, focusing prayer and even though he was only with us for maybe three minutes, I was so calm after he left. We decided to continue praying, and I started us in praying aloud, and I don't even remember the words I said, but just remember thinking, "Wow... is this really me speaking?" and that I was getting SO much strength and comfort from the prayer.

The other three ladies with me still talk about how empowering that prayer time was and how much they got out of it. God was in that room with us and the banging noise was not heard again.

That is when God started working to teach me the true nature of fear.

It was one week to the day that we had left to go to that REC in Nashville last year, when I had the lawn mower accident that sliced off part of my left heel. That was a months-long ordeal in which I got to see the Lord's handiwork each and every day as He healed my foot. As He continually surpassed the doctor's projection for healing and finally walking again. Even though satan had tried to attack me physically, I had no need for fear. God showed me that so personally and so thoroughly.

And He continues to give me the opportunity to share with others the insights He's given me. I was able to speak to one of the inmates at my table about the true nature of fear, what it really is, what we're really saying to God when we worry.. "I don't think You are capable of taking care of this.."

Each time satan has tossed fear at me, and each time I've been able to reject it, God has grown me a little more. Now, I am by no means some super-brave person who has no fear whatsoever. It still ripples through me from time to time, however, these days, I reject it. I turn from it to face my Savior Who I KNOW goes before me and covers my back at the same time. I realize more and more that when scripture says we have nothing to fear, it literally means NOTHING.

No monster, no worry, no illness, no physical need, no spiritual need... NOTHING.

And that is the truth about fear.

Blessings!!

G-

sluggish...

That's me. I've been like an absolute slug for the past four or five days. Sleeping WAY more than normal & still never feeling really rested. I've been wearing my C-PAP machine at night and everything, but still feeling just lousy. Ugh!

I really think part of it has been depression. Not sure WHY exactly. Nothing really going on to make me feel any more depressed than normal. I mean, well, hopefully you *know* what I mean... just that there's nothing going on that would make me feel any different than usual. I am always feeling some level of depression, it's just that most of the time, no one notices it. It's not so severe that I can't function, ya know?

But the past few days... SHEESH! Maybe part of it was because The Man was out of town for a couple of days for work. ?? I dunno. I mean, that usually doesn't make me any worse. It's not like he's never done that before, ya know? And there's really no drama going on in my life right now. I have just felt like crap-ola for the past few days.

BUT... thank God, today, FINALLY, I started feeling more like myself. The Man was off work yesterday because of Good Friday, and so he ran around and did some errands, then he worked on building some kinda contraption to haul the canoe in the back of our pickup instead of tying it on top where the straps would rub ... can't have that on the spiffy pickup now can we?? Nope! :)

So, I slept most all day yesterday, then this morning, he got up early-ish to go on a day trip with our Babiest Boy, Casey. They packed up and left me laying in the bed. That was fine with me. I sure haven't felt up to trying any of these hiking trips with them. I'll have to tell you about the one where all three guys went on a 15+ mile hike. Oh boy, was that a doosey!

Anyhow, around noon, I dragged myself out of bed and actually felt almost human. I wasn't ready to crawl back into bed after an hour or so, which was a great improvement. When The Man called me around 3pm to say they were almost back, and wanted to know if a friend of mine had called to let me know that she was coming to our church's Saturday service, I told him I was actually feeling some better. He wanted to know if my friend was coming to know if he needed to hurry to make it home in time for us to go or not. She hadn't called, so he and Case took their time. He called again around 5pm to tell me that our oldest son & his wife, who had gone for a short hike in another county, had locked themselves out of their vehicle and did I want to go down with him and Case to unlock their car. I said I did.

In the meantime, just shortly after the guys had made it home, my friend called asking if I was at the church!! I called to see if she was by herself, and if so, I would have had the guys drop me off at church before they went to help the kids, but her husband and another couple had come with, so I made my excuses and rode out to a place called Turkey Foot to "rescue" Corey & Melissa.

They drove me around the camping area there so I could see what it was like. This is a place they want to make a first hike for me when the weather warms up. With my Yucky Foot, I'm a little leary of trekking too far, so we're gonna start with something short for me.

Anyhow, the kids wanted to treat me and Tommy to supper for the trouble, which was so sweet of them, and around that time, a couple of the kids from our former church called to say they were in our town & wanted to eat with us, so we just headed toward home instead of eating in Jackson County.

We met up at DQ and I had SUCH a fun time laughing at those silly boys. They are two of the three we sent on the last Emmaus Chrysalis Flights, and they're so much like our own kids, even calling us Mom & Dad most of the time. I laughed so hard & so much I ended up needing my inhaler, which frustrates me because it happens every time I get really tickled, but it was so worth it.

And now it's late, I'm getting ready to head to bed and The Man?? Well, he's decided to sleep outside in his hammock (a camping/hiking tent-hammock... I'll post a pic soon as I find one on here) to see how well he's equipped for these temperatures. LOL... ah, well... so it'll just be me and Tucker in the house tonight. Which is fine as long as Tuck doesn't decide to bark every time The Man comes in the house, which won't be much, I hope.... and if he doesn't snore too loud. At least I can put a C-PAP on The Man. Not so for Tucker, though....

God bless and BLESSED RESURRECTION DAY to you & yours!!

five things...

Okay, so I have been watching the DVD we got from our church's community groups director today. There are basically six sermons with discussion questions and WOW... there is so much to glean!!

I have never really listened to Andy Stanley before, but I like him. He is much like our own pastor, but not quite as dramatic. LOL! The DVD is called Five Things That Grow Your Faith. You can probably get most all of the materials online, even the messages included on the DVD.

Check it out if you are a small group leader or are considering becoming one!

community...

I think I shared here how my hubby and I became the "leaders" of our church's community group. A community group is what most people refer to as "small group" or "accountability group". If not, well, we joined the group right after we finished a 6-week course that was basically a church-info thing. The church we attend is huge & definitely qualifies as a "mega church" in this area. But it's so radically different from any other traditional church in our area, they used to have this short "class" of sorts to let people understand the what's & why-fore's about the church. However, it was entitled "Next Steps" and some folks thought it was for new Christians. We're hoping they will start it back up all new & improved because it was a big help to us and let us ask questions we had about the doctrine and practices of the church before we joined.

So after the Next Steps group, we joined a group that, at the time, the pastor was a part of. That's before our church expanded to a second campus in the next town and his wife started her internship at the hospital in a town 80 miles away and they began a life of residing in two different places, travelling many miles every week! The group grew so large that it split at one point, then they broke for summer vacation. After that, when it was announced that groups would start meeting again, we and two other couples showed up at the usual room but no leader was to be found. Someone said they were still on vacation. We didn't know for sure, hadn't had any word from them, but we had one new couple there, so we just carried on as usual, discussing the sermon notes. The next week, the same thing happened... the man who had previously led our group wasn't there and a different new couple had come to join us.

After that second week, I emailed the guy who oversaw Community Groups to let him know what we'd been doing, to ask where the leader was & to find out if the group had moved or something. The reply I got was an apology for letting that happen, and a congratulations for "stepping up" and notice that we would now be listed as the group's "leaders".

Egads!! I wasn't expecting that! It made Tommy a bit uneasy because he didn't see himself as any sort of church leader, but after praying about it and talking it over with a couple of his friends, we took it as something the Lord wanted us to do, and plunged ahead.

At that time, the church staff started working on plans to "do" community groups in a more methodical, organized way. And so here we are, almost a year later with Tommy's supervisor at work (& a dear friend now) being appointed the new community groups' coordinator and getting ready for an event called "Group Link" next Sunday evening.

As I understand it, it'll be like a sort of job fair for Community Groups. People will be scattered around the large "foyer" area, representing their group and folks can wander around asking questions and getting info about any particular group they think will fit their schedules and interests.

We've been given a book and a DVD about leading and "running" community groups to be the most efficient and most helpful to folks. Of course, this would have to have happened the same time we started taking a 10-week Christian financial course, too. *sigh*

We have GOT to get busy reading the information. I'm praying it will be helpful. It seems that in the past the biggest problem, or one of the biggest, was having info about the various groups since most meet outside the church and on various days and various times. Hopefully, setting up one person to be in charge of groups info this way will help eliminate that. And they plan to have these Group Link events at least four times per year.

The suggestion is to have around 6-8 people per group, then to close that group. That way you promote community and build trust. And we have found that to be so since our group has been meeting at the church on Sunday evenings, we tend to "catch" people who have been looking for a group or who don't know that our church doesn't have a traditional service on Sunday nights. It's been good to be able to let these people join in, but in about 99% of the cases, our group is not what they want or need. Either the age range is off, the interest or life stage is incompatible or something. And they leave. Of course, with our core group of folks, we're not as forthcoming or spend the time explaining things to the new person and don't get to delve as deeply into things as we normally would.

I'm just praying that, as it looks like we may be losing the two couples who have been the core of our group (due to changing job situations, etc) we may be starting from scratch and that makes me a little uneasy. You don't realize how much you've come to depend on a close relationship with others in your group til you're about to lose them. But I guess God's got something else in store for us and I'm confident that He will place the right people in our group.

The last thing I'll mention is the fear I have, well, more of a concern, but still something I need to overcome, of having people in our group that we have trouble connecting with. Sometimes you get folks that you just can't "click" with and you stay unsure of for one reason or another. Sometimes they seem oblivious to this situation or sometimes they seem to feel the total opposite that you do and want to cling tightly to you... all the while, you're trying your darnedest to meet their needs while still feeling "out of sync" with them.

*sigh* I'm praying God settles this for us too. And I'm sure He will... I just hope it's not by bringing us a whole posse of people we feel non-comfortable with. LOL! Wouldn't that just be the way to teach us, though?

Ha. Thanks for reading... I'll keep you posted on how this goes!

Blessings!